Mass Effect: Moments
by The Batchild
Summary: These are a collection of moments set throughout the games to expand on certain events and emotions that Shepard and the crew experience.  They feature my Shepard and focus on her relationship with Kaidan.
1. A Moment to Recover

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

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**Mass Effect: Moments.  
**A Moment to Recover.

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The medical bay of the _Normandy _was a dark room, currently lit only by the dim glow of the light above Jagher Shepard's bed. It cast sharp shadows over the patient and Doctor Chakwas, standing nearby and scanning the Commander with her Omni-tool; the orange light of the device flickered like candlelight. If the room had been better lit, if it had looked more like a hospital, perhaps the scene wouldn't have been so grim.

The young commander was shifting slightly on the bed, one hand clenched tightly in a fist and the other holding onto the edge of the bed like it was her only hold on life. Glimpses of pain and other, unidentifiable emotions flickered across her face. The display made Kaidan uncomfortable. It was because of him that Commander Shepard was lying on that bed, suffering silently. She had had to knock him out of the way of the Prothean beacon because he had been stupid enough to approach it without knowing what it was capable of.

He sighed quickly as he approached the bedside. The biotic hovered for a moment, not wanting to interrupt Chakwas' scans, but he stepped close once the omni-tool had vanished. "How is she?" he asked quietly.

Chakwas looked up and flashed the lieutenant a quick and reassuring grin. "She's stable; just hasn't woken up yet," she said in her accented voice. "She seems to be dreaming."

"Her eyes have been moving like that since she passed out."

Chakwas nodded. "She's deep in REM sleep."

Silence fell as the doctor turned to the machines displaying Jagher's vitals, and Kaidan stood at Shepard's bedside, studying the minute motions of her face and body. "Is she in any pain?"

"It's difficult to tell for sure Kaidan, but I don't think she is."

Kaidan's eyes dropped back to Shepard's form. "I'm so sorry Shepard," he said.

"Kaidan, I don't think an apology is necessary. The commander would have done the same for anyone."

"Maybe, but I shouldn't have approached that thing."

The silver-haired woman shrugged with one shoulder and the headed towards the other end of the room. "I will be at my desk if you need anything," she said before walking out of earshot. If Kaidan had been able to see the doctor's face, he would have seen a small, knowing smile.

Kaidan found a wheeled stool and pulled it over to Shepard's bedside. He sat down and leaned towards her slightly, dropping his voice even though no one could hear. "I really am sorry, Shepard," he whispered, awkwardly placing his hand on her forearm. A rough groan made him sit up straight, his hand retracting instantly. Realizing it had come from the bed, Kaidan leaned close again. "Shepard?"

She rolled her head towards his voice, her eyelids fluttering open revealing the bright green irises beneath. "Kaidan?" she croaked. He looked around and found a cup of water and passed it to Shepard as she manoeuvred herself into a half-sitting position. She took the cup and drank deeply for a moment before placing it back on the table. "How long have I been out?" she asked, running her fingers through her dishevelled dark brown hair. "I feel like I was run over by a truck or something..."

"A few hours."

"Did you get me back to the ship?"

"Yeah—Ashley helped," he added. Kaidan scratched at his temple. Suddenly apologizing seemed wrong. "Commander, I'm—"

"You don't have to apologize anymore Kaidan," she said with a small grin.

"You heard?"

"I heard."

He couldn't stop the small smile from spreading over his lips. Some tension released from his shoulders and Kaidan felt himself relax. "How are you feeling?"

Shepard shrugged and moved so she was sitting fully upright. Kaidan rose to his feet so he could meet her eyes without craning his neck. "My head hurts, and the things I saw... they don't make any sense. But I'll be okay." Taking in the confused expression on the Staff Lieutenant's face, Jagher continued. "The beacon... I think it put a vision of some sort in my brain. I saw death." She looked up at Kaidan, her eyes dark and heavy. She was scared.

After a brief moment of silent deliberation, Kaidan reached forward and placed his hand gently on Jagher's forearm again, giving it a gentle squeeze. They shared a look, one Kaidan tried to make reassuring and comforting. When Chakwas appeared to check on her patient, Kaidan informed the commander that he would be in the mess hall if she needed to talk to him; he wanted more answers, and fully intended to get them. But that could wait. Right then, at that moment, he was just glad Shepard was okay and hadn't been harmed by that damned beacon.

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**Author's Note.**

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I'm reworking these for reasons.

Hope you still enjoy!

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**Next Moment: A Moment of Conversation.**


	2. A Moment of Conversation

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

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**Mass Effect: Moments.  
**A Moment of Conversation.

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The _Normandy_ was hurtling through space, en route to the Citadel where the team from Eden Prime and Captain Anderson were due for a meeting with the Council. They'd uncovered some information on Eden Prime that Saren, a Council Spectre, might be involved in the attack and they had to tell the Council, although no one was really looking forward to it. Since the ship had taken off from the human colony, Jagher had been wandering the ship's decks, trying to occupy her mind and her time. Her mind would wander to bad places if she sat still for very long.

She had checked her messages on the extranet, sent a message to her mother and one to her sister, and then surfed around the net for a bit. Finding nothing that could hold her interest for more than a few minutes, Jagher had left her quarters and gone up to the command deck. She'd chatted with the pilot Joker about his nickname and the disease that kept him, for the most part, confined to his pilot's chair. The young commander had checked in with the XO, Pressley, and aimlessly glanced at the consoles surrounding the galaxy map before wandering back down the crew decks.

The last time she had seen Kaidan Alenko, he had moved over to the console in the corner of the mess hall, checking on the ship's electronic systems. Jagher crossed the deck and found him in the same place, but he wasn't working at the console.

He was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall and his head in his hands, his arms propped up on his knees.

"Kaidan?" Jagher crouched down in front of her staff lieutenant.

He turned his dark eyes up to her and blinked. His eyes were glazed over and he looked like he was in pain. "Oh, hey Commander," he whispered. "I'm sorry, I was just—"

"Don't apologize," she whispered in reply, sensing that he wouldn't really appreciate any loud noises. "Are you okay?" In a conversation she'd had with Doctor Chakwas right after waking up, it had come up that Kaidan, a biotic with the L2 implants, suffered severe migraines sometimes, but she didn't want to assume that was what was bothering him.

"Yeah... Just a headache."

Jagher settled back against the wall near him, draping her arms across her knees. "Doesn't the Doc have anything that'll help?"

Kaidan shook his head. "We've tried several different medications, but nothing helps for long. It's easier if I just ride it out."

She wanted to help him. He had brought her back to the ship after Eden Prime. Jagher felt obligated to try and help, but more than that, she liked the staff lieutenant. "Is there... anything I can do?"

The lieutenant gave his commander a small smile and shook his head. "Unfortunately, no, there isn't. I've tried just about every remedy, even the ones they gave us at Brain Camp when I was younger. Nothing works."

"Why haven't you upgraded to the L3? I've heard those biotics don't suffer as much."

Kaidan gave her another, bigger, smile. "The operation to upgrade is painful and risky, especially on an adult, and the recovery time is long. And, I don't suffer as much as most of the L2s did. I'd rather live with these headaches than go through the hassle of upgrading and lose the extra amplification the L2 gives me."

"Would you upgrade if the headaches got worse or if you developed other problems?"

Kaidan nodded, but then asked, "Commander, why are you asking all these questions?"

Jagher shrugged, as much as to herself as to Kaidan. "I don't know much about biotics, and I'm interested in learning more about them." She dropped her head back against the wall. "And I really did want to know if there was anything I could to help. I don't like seeing anyone on my team in pain." The two officers shared a moment where they just looked at each other, small smiles on both their faces. As the moment passed however, Shepard ran her fingers back over her dark brown hair, making sure the neat bun was still in place, and said, "If you're sure there's nothing I can do, Kaidan, I'd better get up and check in with Joker. We should be getting close to the Citadel."

"I'm sure, Commander. Thanks for talking."

Jagher nodded, gave Kaidan a friendly pat on the knee, and then got to her feet. She stretched out her shoulders and then walked across the deck, towards the elevator, a small and inexplicable smile on her face.

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**Author's Note.**

* * *

Changed this one a bit. Some things didn't make sense timeline-wise. Hopefully I fixed that.

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**Next Moment: A Moment of Itchy Teeth.**


	3. A Moment of Itchy Teeth

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect: Moments.  
**A Moment of Itchy Teeth.

* * *

"How can your teeth itch?"

Jagher Shepard looked from Ashley Williams, the young Gunnery Chief they'd rescued from Eden Prime, to Kaidan, smiling slightly. The team was standing in front of a mass relay monument on the Presidium of the Citadel and Kaidan had just made some comment about how the statue made his teeth itch with the humming noise it was making. Still with the small smile on her lips, Shepard approached the edge of the walkway and leaned on the railing. The closer she got to the statue, the more intense the buzzing in her head became and her teeth did begin to rattle. The conversation continued on behind her, but she kept her green eyes on the statue.

The harder she focused, the more her teeth rattled.

She narrowed her eyes, wondering how they managed to decommission a relay. A statue wouldn't hum, but a relay with residual power might… But why would they keep an actual relay on the Citadel? Unless the humming wasn't coming from the statue at all.

"Commander?"

Jagher shook her head before turning to look at her team, who were both watching her with looks on their faces that hovered somewhere between confusion and concern. "I think you're right Alenko," she said. "There's something weird about this statue."

"I don't hear this humming," Ashley said. She moved closer to the statue.

"It's there, Williams." Shepard looked over her shoulder at the statue. "But I want to know why."

"Does it matter why it's humming?"

Jagher shrugged. It probably didn't matter, but it was still a curious thing. The commander gave a small sigh and rolled her shoulder. She started walking again, heading along the walkway towards the Citadel Tower. "Nowhere else in the Presidium is humming, and there isn't any sort of fountain mechanism or anything around the monument, so why would it be humming?" As she spoke, Shepard realized she was fishing for some explanation. She was nervous about meeting the Council and looking for a distraction.

"Are you okay Commander?" Kaidan asked.

Jagher looked sideways and found his dark eyes locked on her. She wanted to smile. She didn't, however. "I'm fine, Lieutenant. Just a little on edge about this meeting."

"Aren't we all?"

Shepard nodded absently at Williams then the trio fell into silence as they crossed the shining walkways. It was amazing how clean and beautiful the Presidium was, and Jagher tried to focus on the trees and the water and the gleaming pale metal instead of the tower looming over their path. She knew what was waiting up there; she could see the stern faces of the Council, salarian, asari and turian, and almost imagine what they were going to say to her. It was highly unlikely they would believe anything she said about Saren, even backed by the eyewitness reports from Eden Prime. He was a Spectre and she was just a human.

As they stepped into the elevator, Shepard sighed and ran her hands back over her dark hair.

The elevator doors closed and the car shot upwards.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

I don't really like this moment, but that line makes me laugh like an idiot for some reason.

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**Next Moment: A Moment With Stolen Glances. **


	4. A Moment With Stolen Glances

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect: Moments.  
**A Moment With Stolen Glances.

* * *

She was a Spectre now.

The first human Spectre.

Jagher Shepard ran her hands backwards over her hair, subconsciously checking that her bun was still in place. As she walked across the Presidium, towards the Wards Access Corridor that would take her and her team down to C-Sec, where they could catch the lift to where the Normandy was docked, she kept her eyes focused ahead. She badly wanted to lay down somewhere and close her eyes, but she knew she'd only see the faces of the Council all over the back of her eyelids, judging her even as they promoted her and made her into the only thing capable of tracking Saren throughout the galaxy.

Still walking in silence, Shepard led Kaidan and Ashley down to the Wards Access. The long hall was bathed in a bluish light and there was a large sitting area off one side. Here and there, people milled about, some in C-Sec uniforms and a few in armour of one kind or another, but the large majority were just the citizens of the Citadel, going about their daily lives.

Eventually, they reached the elevator that would take them down to the wards proper and stepped inside. Ashley, who didn't really like crowds, sighed with relief, and Jagher found herself almost echoing that sentiment; she didn't mind crowds, but the constant buzz of noise had started to give her a headache. The gunnery chief leaned against one wall of the elevator car while Shepard remained stoic in the centre. Something bumped against her hand and she looked sideways to find Kaidan, standing close, the edge of his hand brushing hers. Even though her armour, the contact was reassuring.

She flashed him a quick smile, but knew her stress showed through anyways.

"So how does it feel to be the first human Spectre?" Ashley suddenly asked.

Jagher pulled her hand away from Kaidan's, startled by the noise. She crossed her arms and looked down at the floor, sighed and then looked up. "I don't know yet," Shepard admitted.

"It's a huge deal."

"I know," Shepard said.

"Ash, I don't think the Commander needs to be reminded of how much of an honour she's been given," Kaidan interjected. He caught Shepard's green-eyed gaze with his own dark one and put as much comfort into that look as he could.

Thankfully, the outspoken officer remained quiet as the trio finished the trek back to the _Normandy. _As they waited for the all-clear to take off, Shepard went to her quarters and removed her armour, changing as quickly as she could into the dark blue uniform the Alliance soldiers wore. Dressed in the more comfortable clothes, she emerged onto the command deck and made her way up to the bridge.

"We've got a green light, Commander," Joker said.

Jagher nodded absently, realized the pilot wasn't looking at her and then said, "Let's head out then. Set course for that planet... where Benezia's daughter I supposed to be."

Joker raised an eyebrow. "Therum?"

"Yeah."

"Commander, are you okay?"

"Fine."

Before Joker could pry anymore, Shepard turned on her heel and marched from the bridge and headed down to the Crew Deck, planning on getting some pain killers from Doctor Chakwas for the damn headache that was just getting worse. As she hit the bottom of the stairs and made her way to the medical bay, that tingling in her spine that told her someone was looking hit her. She lifted her head and met Kaidan's eyes again.

A slow smile spread across her face, a smile the lieutenant returned.

"Are you feeling all right, Commander? You're looking a little flushed."

The Doctor's accented voice cut through the moment easily, startling Jagher into the present. She forced her eyes to find the kind and slightly lined face of Chakwas. "I'm fine. I just have a bit of a headache."

"Well come in then and I will get you some painkillers. Do you know what the cause is?"

Shepard followed the Doctor into sick bay and leaned against the desk as she waited. "Stress."

"I can't imagine your current situation is an easy one to handle," Chakwas said as she handed the Commander a green pill and a cup of water.

Shepard threw the pill back, nodded and left the office, her stress and pain making her irritable and much less friendly than normal. She planned on heading straight to her quarters and lying down until the ship reached Therum in several hours, but the path she took brought her right past Kaidan. Her legs stopped working almost of their own accord.

"Commander."

She turned to look into his handsome face. "Kaidan." Briefly, she wondered at her ease around him. While she wasn't a cold person, it usually took her a while to feel as comfortable around people. Except with the lieutenant apparently.

"How are you holding up?"

Jagher sighed, relieved that he didn't ask her if she was okay, or how she was dealing with being the Spectre. His question left room for a better answer. "I'll be all right. I just need time to adjust, I think. Unfortunately time is something we don't have a lot of." She sighed again and leaned against the terminal where Kaidan was working and crossed her arms. Kaidan placed a hand on her shoulder, his fingers lingering briefly along the neckline of her uniform and she turned her face towards his hand. She suppressed a shiver and said, "How are you doing?"

"I'm all right, Shepard."

Something in the way he answered the question changed the tone of the conversation; suddenly the air became heavy and there was tension—a good tension—between the two Alliance officers. Jagher actually took a step towards the Lieutenant before she realized what she was doing and pulled back.

"I'm..." Jagher floundered for the words. "I need to lie down before we reach Therum."

Kaidan nodded, a small grin on his lips. "I'll get Joker to wake you when we've arrived."

"Thank you."

Jagher finished the journey to her quarters, leaving a smiling Kaidan to return to his work.

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**Author's Note.**

* * *

In my headcanon, Kaidan and Shep connected really quickly.

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**Next Moment: A Moment About Responsibility. **


	5. A Moment About Responsibility

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect: Moments.  
**A Moment About Responsibility.

* * *

"How the hell are you going to stop Saren? How are you supposed to save humanity? How are you supposed to stop the Reapers, whatever they are, and save the galaxy?"

Jagher stared at her reflection in the mirror of her bathroom and found that she looked the same—bright green eyes, dark brown hair pulled back in a neat bun—but the knowledge of the responsibilities that were now hers had made her feel different. She narrowed her eyes at herself, and then sighed.

"How the hell are you going to do anything, Jagher?" she asked her reflection.

She didn't get an answer, which was good, because if she had she would have taken herself across the deck to Doctor Chakwas and demanded she be taken out of command. The Spectre stared at herself for a moment longer and then stepped out of the bathroom, promptly falling on the bed and staring up at the barren ceiling. There were no answers there either and the blank landscape left her mind free to remain focused on the weight on her shoulders.

"How are we going to do this?"

_One step at a time,_ a small voice in the back of her head said.

First, to Therum to find Liara, in hopes she would be able to lead them to her mother. Or tell them something that would help them against the asari matriarch. Or something about the Prothean technology they were looking for.

Second, to Noveria, to investigate reports of an asari Matriarch on the planet. Possibly Liara's mother.

Then, to Feros, to find out why the areas around ExoGeni and the colony of Zhu's Hope were crawling with geth.

"Oh? Is that all?"

And that wouldn't be the end.

They would have to find the Conduit—whatever and wherever that was—and they would actually have to find Saren himself and find a way to stop him and his army of geth.

Jagher let out a small groan of frustration and pulled her pillow over her face. Nowhere in her mind did the word "impossible" actually come into use, but that didn't mean it wasn't implied. Her task—her crew's task—was a daunting one and one that, likely, no one else would have taken on. But she had. Shepard sat up in bed, the pillow now in her lap, and blinked at the wall across from her, and suppressed the urge to smack herself on the head. She hadn't just accepted the mission, she'd fought for it, for her appointment as a Spectre, for the right and the means to fly across the galaxy looking for Saren.

"So, clearly somewhere in your mind you thought you could do it," she whispered.

_You have to do it, _that small voice said, a little louder this time. _There's no choice._

Shepard scoffed. "So no pressure." The chime at her door sounded and she hastily returned the pillow to its proper position and climbed off the bed. "Come in," she called.

Thankfully, it was Kaidan who stepped through the door. "We are arriving at Therum in a few minutes," he said.

She nodded, glad it wasn't Joker alerting her to the ship's position after all. "Thanks." Sucking in a deep breath, Jagher straightened her back and crossed the room.

"Commander?"

Without him having to voice the words, Shepard knew what he was going to ask. "I'll be fine, Kaidan," she replied quietly.

He nodded and followed her up to the command deck.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

Yeah, Jagher Shepard is a little weirder than you'd think seeing Commander Shepard in the game. She talks to herself.

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**Next Moment: A Moment Where it's Cold. **


	6. A Moment Where It's Cold

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect: Moments.  
**A Moment Where it's Cold.

* * *

Shepard stepped onto the tram and dropped into the nearest seat, the guns attached to the back of her armour digging in uncomfortably. As Kaidan and Garrus—the turian C-Sec agent she's met during the trial about Saren, an alien she already quite liked—climbed aboard the train car, she shifted around, trying to find a comfortable position to sit in. They'd be running around Noveria chasing Benezia, and Jagher knew they were nowhere near done, so she wanted to take the moments they had to rest. Apparently, that was going to be impossible since she wasn't going to remove all her weapons, so she groaned and pushed herself to her feet again and stalked to the end of the tram to look out the window.

"Everything all right Commander?" Garrus asked as he flipped the switch to start the tram moving.

"Yeah, just uncomfortable." Jagher turned and leaned back against the window, arms taking most of her weight braced on a railing at about hip level. She felt a small frown pull at her lips and she didn't stop it; she trusted Kaidan and Garrus, they were her friends. "I wanted to sit down."

Her companions laughed, perhaps a little more enthusiastically than the situation called for. It was a good way to ease the tension. After having to fight geth troops and mercenaries to save Liara from the Prothean trap she managed to get herself stuck in, things hadn't really slowed down at all. Like rest, joviality was hard to come by.

Kaidan perched on the edge of one of the seats, elbows braced on his knees, and Garrus leaned against the wall by the power switch. For a few moments they sat in companionable silence as they enjoyed the brief moments of peace. It was beyond likely they would find more of the multi-legged monsters at Rift Station when they reached it. There was also a possibility they would find mounds of slaughtered humans. No one in the main settlement had had any contact with Rift Station since before the storm had started, and that showed no signs of slowing down.

Jagher turned her green eyes to the left, where she could look out the tram windows and the station windows beyond. The storm was raging, the snow a shifting white curtain beyond the durable and clear material.

"What do you think Benezia is up to?" Garrus asked.

She heard Kaidan shift, but she didn't turn her attention back to the conversation, even as the Staff Lieutenant answered, "Any number of things, but something tells me those things are probably involved. I know it's impossible, but they looked a lot like rachni."

"It's not impossible Alenko, just highly unlikely." There was a slight edge of humour in Garrus' voice and Jagher smiled.

"I want to know why she would work for Saren," the young commander said.

"The asari aren't known for their rebellious ways. Benezia's actions are definitely bizarre." Kaidan's eyes narrowed very slightly, but he reigned in his expression before he asked, "Did Liara have any idea what her mother was up to?"

Shepard shrugged. "Not really. She didn't seem very keen on talking about her mother though."

True to his C-Sec training, Garrus picked up on the suspicious question. "Do you think she's hiding something?"

Jagher shrugged again and licked her lips. "It's possible, but I don't think so."

The three soldiers lapsed into silence again, but it was no longer completely comfortable or friendly. A fraction of it had been replaced with the tension that Shepard had noticed appeared whenever the topic of Liara was broached around Kaidan. Shepard's gaze slid to the handsome face of her Staff Lieutenant and when he met her gaze, she offered the warmest smile she could muster and was rewarded with one in return. Garrus picked up on the exchange, but said nothing. However, Shepard heard the soft and dry noise of his mandibles moving.

"What will we do if those things are the rachni?" the turian asked, bringing the conversation back to the situation at hand.

"I have no idea. This wasn't something I've even considered—not that I considered any of this. Who expects to run into an extinct race?" Jagher settled against the bar and crossed her arms under her chest, the hard material of her armour clacking loudly in the relative silence of the tram. "I guess we'll contact the Council if we have the time or opportunity and see what they think should be done." Kaidan and Garrus nodded in consent. "But let's not worry about that until we have to. It might not even become an issue."

There was another nod that was cut short by a sudden and rather violent shiver from Kaidan. When the other two turned towards him, curious looks on their faces, he said, "The cold. It's bad enough to get through my armour."

Shepard nodded, a barely contained grin on her lips. It was _that _cold, but something in Kaidan's face, his voice, made the admission funny. Again, it could be the release of tension, but whatever the reason, Jagher was more than happy to let the laughter spill over her lips, echoed by Garrus. Kaidan joined them a second later. As the display of emotion passed, the commander pushed herself off the wall and dropped into the seat beside Kaidan, perching on the edge like he was, to keep her guns from pressing into her back.

"Do you think there will be any survivors?" she asked.

"Hopefully," Garrus and Kaidan answered simultaneously.

After another moment of silence, the tram slowed and pulled into Rift Station, a dull clunk announcing their complete stop. Garrus opened the doors and stepped out onto the platform, followed closely by Kaidan. Jagher drew her assault rifle, unsure of what they would find and then stepped out after her companions.

She didn't follow them, however.

"What is it?" Kaidan asked.

She scrunched up her face. "It's cold."

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

This is another random moment inspired by one of Kaidan's background lines. I don't think it matters where you are on Noveria, but if you talk to him, sometimes he'll say something about how cold it was. I first heard it when I was getting on the tram, which is why this takes place where it does.

Kaidan and Garrus will feature as the second and third team members in the rest of the Mass Effect 1 moments, as they are my favourite team. This also explains why Shep is a little more laid back around them. In my mind, Shep is close friends with Garrus and Kaidan and thus, isn't afraid to show a little of her more personal side. I think it makes sense, so I hope you do to.

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**Next Moment: A Moment With Family Ties. **


	7. A Moment With Family Ties

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect: Moments.  
**A Moment With Family Ties.

* * *

They had eventually stopped Benezia on Noveria and they had freed the rachni queen, effectively preserving a race most had thought extinct—all in all, a very successful operation. After getting off the icy planet and surviving another tense debriefing with the Council via FTL comm. link, Shepard and her team were looking for a few moments of rest before hitting Feros and Zhu's Hope, the colony that was currently being overwhelmed with geth.

Tali, the quarian they'd saved from Fist back on the Citadel, was down in the engine room, learning all she could about the _Normandy_, while Garrus, Ashley and Wrex were in the cargo bay, tending to the Mako, the ship's systems, and personal anger respectively. Liara was holed up somewhere in Doctor Chakwas' lab and Kaidan was wrapped up in running diagnostics on the ship's electronic systems. After making the rounds to check on her team and her crew, Jagher Shepard had made her way to the comm. room in order to return a message she had been avoiding.

When she reached the circular room, she leaned on the railing in front of the screen, fingers drumming to some music in her head as she tried to steel herself for the task. She could face down geth and rachni and husks without flinching, but calling her sister... now _that _was hard.

Sucking in a deep breath, Jagher keyed in the sequence that would connect her to her sister in the Fifth Fleet.

"_Lieutenant Shepard." _

"Hey Faye," Jagher breathed.

Fayelle Shepard, three years Jagher's junior, looked up from the paperwork she'd been filling out and her blue eyes widened in surprise. She had the same dark brown hair as her sister, but it was cut to hover around her ears and a face that was softer than her sister's. Fayelle had made up for her softer appearance by gaining a reputation as somewhat of a bitch. Jagher liked that about her sister. _"Hey Jag. You sure took your sweet time getting back to me." _

Jagher bared her teeth as the sign of aggression it was meant to be. "I'm sorry if I've been a little _busy._"

"_Ah yes. I heard the news... Spectre. How'd you talk your way into that one?"_

The older Shepard tightened her hands around the railing, her nails biting into her palms. "Faye, I didn't return your call to fight. I am sorry I haven't been able to return your call sooner, but I am returning it now."

Fayelle sighed loudly and folded her arms on top of her paperwork, her face losing the edge she worked so hard to keep there. _"Jag... I just expected you to call as soon as you were promoted and share in the good news. We used to have some good conversations. It's been so long since we've been able to do that and now that you're a Spectre, I have a feeling that it's a luxury that will be kept out of our reach." _

It was Jagher's turn to sigh. She loosened her grip on the railing and ran her hands along the smooth metal, staring at it as if she was hoping to find some answers or some words in the greyish tones. "I don't know what I can say or promise. I don't know if I can say or promise anything. I'm only going to get busier and I might not be able to call or even leave a message."

"_Well it's good to know you were able to take some time out of your busy schedule to call your little sister." _

The last words came out as a hiss and Jagher bared her teeth again, her green eyes narrowing and her hands once again resumed their grip on the bar in front of her. "Fayelle," she snapped. "You cannot use your bitch tone with me."

"_Why the fuck not? Are you going to arrest me?"_

"Faye—"

"_Jagher, I am not taking any more of this shit! You are my sister. Is it so much to want to talk to you more than once a year?" _

"FAYELLE!" Jagher yelled, shutting her sister up. She glared at Fayelle. "We are not arguing about this anymore!"

Fayelle scrunched up her face, a cute expression that went against her harsh tone; it reminded Jagher of when they'd been little girls, running around the spaceship. _"Jag, we're not alone anymore."_

Jagher whirled around, one hand still on the bar, and prepared herself to yell at whoever had interrupted her call. When her eyes found Kaidan however—a very alarmed-looking Kaidan—her shoulders fell and she let go of the bar, his very presence calming her. She heard Fayelle's scoff behind her, but didn't turn to look at her sister. "Lieutenant," she said, her voice a little breathier than normal. "Can I help you?"

"I was on my way up the bridge to talk to Joker and heard screaming, Commander."

Jagher smiled at Kaidan. "Everything is fine; just arguing with my sister." She looked over her shoulder and said, "Lieutenant Fayelle Shepard, meet Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko; Kaidan, meet my little sister."

"Nice to meet you Lieutenant," Kaidan said. "Commander, if everything is all right, I'll leave you to your call. Sorry to interrupt."

Back fully turned to the screen, Jagher gave Kaidan a rather warm smile as he departed the comm. room. After a few seconds, she turned back to her sister, prepared for another line of questioning related to the man who had just left the room, one that would lead to another loud debate, just as pretty much every conversation between the Shepard sisters did.

Instead, all she got was a knowing smirk. Fayelle's eyes were near sparkling with the satisfaction of having discovered something about her sister.

"_So, you got yourself a pretty boy on your ship," _Fayelle said with barely contained glee.

Jagher felt her cheeks flush a little and hated herself for it. Trust her sister to pick up on whatever chemistry existed between Kaidan and Jagher, even light-years away as she was. The commander fought to find something to say that would draw the conversation away from Kaidan, but it was no use. She opened her mouth to tell Fayelle to shut up, but instead she said, "I guess I do."

It dawned on Jagher that, as much as she and Fayelle fought, it might be nice to have someone to talk to who wasn't experiencing the stress and fear of hunting Saren across the galaxy.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

Fayelle and Jagher are a bizarre pair of siblings.

* * *

**Next Moment: Peace. **


	8. A Moment of Peace

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect: Moments.  
**A Moment of Peace.

* * *

The Presidium was rather quiet, which was unusual but not unheard of. There was probably some sort of function going on or something. Also, it was around midday, so many were probably enjoying lunch somewhere on the massive station. The few people who were walking around were either chatting quietly to their walking companions, or just enjoying the beautiful, if artificial, scenery.

Jagher Shepard was leaning on a railing, overlooking the water and just taking whatever enjoyment she could from the moments of peace, greatly needed especially after fighting the geth and the Thorian on Feros.

Remembering the ancient and hideous monster plant-thing, Jagher sighed heavily and draped a little farther over the railing, propping herself up on her elbows instead of her hands. The beast itself, the way it had possessed the citizens of Zhu's Hope, the way it had created copies of that asari woman... Jagher shivered visibly and shook her head, trying to rid herself of the images that seemed engrained. She was not a woman who scared or rattled easily, but that _thing _had certainly gotten to her. With another sigh, Jagher ran her hands backwards over her dark brown hair, shaking out the loose ends and savouring the feeling of not having to be dressed military proper.

As soon as she had been given the go-ahead to take a tiny break, she'd shed her armour and was wandering around the Presidium dressed in her military uniform with a black sweater thrown over top. Her hair was hanging loose around her shoulders, almost down to her elbows, and she was pleased with the amount of anonymity that simple change in her appearance had brought.

She had, however, lost track of the rest of her team at some point.

_Oh well, _she told herself. _Just enjoy the peace while you can. You'll see them all back on the ship. _

Leaving the Thorian behind her for the moment, Jagher shoved her hands into the pockets of her sweater and headed across the bridge, pointed towards a semi-secluded area where a small park-like area sat, situated around a pond with a tree growing out of the middle of it. Jagher noticed with a small smirk that there were fish in this pond. Clearly, this area was designated for relaxation and scenic purposes rather than supplying the massive population on the Citadel with clean water. Pleased with this discovery, Jagher dropped onto the grass beside the water and folded her legs underneath her, watching the orange and white fish swim lazily back and forth around the pond.

A few moments after she had settled, someone dropped to the ground beside her. Jagher knew without looking that it was Kaidan. She shuffled closer to the man she'd inexplicably become very close to in such a short time and leaned her head on his shoulder. If he was surprised by this, he didn't show it. The pair had spent a lot of time talking on the _Normandy _and Jagher couldn't imagine going through this without him now.

He was like an anchor, holding her steady in a storm.

"How are you holding up?" Kaidan asked.

Jagher smiled a bit to herself. She liked that Kaidan cared enough to keep checking up on her. No one else did, not unless there was very obviously something wrong. "I'm tired and a little shaken, but so is everyone else."

"I didn't ask how everyone else was doing, Jagher." Kaidan smiled down at her. "How are you?"

Jagher sat up and gave him a look, one eyebrow raised; she still wasn't used to him calling her by her first name. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "I'm worried about what's going to happen on Virmire. I can't shake this feeling that something very bad is going to happen on the planet." She turned her head so one ear was lying on her knees and she could still look at the staff lieutenant beside her. Some of her dark hair fell across her face. Kaidan brushed it gently off her cheek. "And I really am tired," she said with a smile. "Exhausted. But I've got to keep going. Spectres can't just walk away from the problems. I fought for this position, and I'm not going to give it up, but..."

"But you'd like some time to rest. More than a day."

"More than a day."

Kaidan smiled at the young Spectre. "I'm sure you'll get as much time as you want after we're done."

"If we survive." Jagher sighed and pressed her face into her knees. This was probably going to be her only break until the end, and she was wasting it worrying. She should be enjoying the peace and quiet, the beauty of the Presidium around her. But being a Spectre, hunting Saren, that was her life right now... Could she afford the break? _Enjoy it, Jagher. You have to hit the rack in a few hours and you __**know **__you won't get another chance like this again. _She looked up at Kaidan, who had leaned a little closer during her mental conversation. "Do you want to go get a drink?"

Kaidan looked a little taken back, but he smiled and nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

I don't think I mentioned this before, but the events in this fic coincide with the way I played the game.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment About What Could Be. **


	9. A Moment About What Could Be

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect: Moments.  
**A Moment About What Could Be.

* * *

The _Normandy _hurtled towards Virmire in answer to a Salarian distress c all. Shepard was sitting in the mess hall, her hand wrapped around a cup of whatever the alcohol was that had been lying around, and a rather distant look on her face. Her thoughts were somewhere out there in space, pondering what they were going to find when they landed on Virmire, what dangers they would have to face, how many geth would be waiting... She sighed and leaned her head back, closing her eyes and concentrating on the noises of the ship working around her and the feel of the top of the chair digging into the back of her neck.

"Shepard?"

She opened her eyes and looked up at Garrus, the turian towering above her. "Don't mind me, just dreading the future," she said as her friend settled into the chair beside her. "I've got a bad feeling about Virmire."

"I think everyone does." He gestured to the bottle of booze in front of her. "May I?"

"If it's not going to negatively affect your turian biology, I don't see why not."

Jagher flashed Garrus a grin and he poured himself a glass from the stack of cups Shepard had brought out in case anyone else decided to join her. Sure enough, in the span of about fifteen minutes, the rest of the crew did show up, all taking a glass and filling it with the bluish liquor.

"Do you think we'll ever get the chance to do this again?" Ashley asked.

Jagher shrugged with one shoulder as she stole a glance at Kaidan over the rim of her glass.

"I hope so," the staff lieutenant answered.

A brief second of silence passed, the others picking up on the change of mood between the senior Alliance officers. Wisely, no one said anything, just enjoyed their drinks as Jagher and Kaidan continued trying to be sneaky about stealing glances across the table. The crew, a group of relative strangers who had come together through unforeseen circumstances, had grown close and it wasn't long before they dissolved into energetic chatter around the tension. Garrus was the only one to spare them a second thought, gently nudging the back of Jagher's head with one of his elbows as he passed her on his way to the other end of the table, effectively leaving Jagher and Kaidan in a bubble of privacy.

"Do you think we can end this on Virmire?" Shepard asked, gently swirling her nearly empty glass in her hand.

"Do you want the truth or the lies that'll make you feel better?"

She levelled bright green eyes on Kaidan, her lips pulled up in one corner. "I would say lie to me, but then I'll just be disappointed, so give me the truth."

"Then, no, I don't think this will end on Virmire."

"Damn."

Kaidan raised his glass. "You said it."

Jagher clinked her glass against his and then drained the remainder of the liquid. She slid the glass away and placed her forehead on the table with a heavy sigh. Before Kaidan could ask, she said, "I'm tired."

"There's time to get some sleep before we reach Virmire."

She looked up, shook her head and rubbed her hands over her eyes. "One more drink, then I'll hit the hay."

Kaidan gave her a warm and very welcome smile and they moved down the table to rejoin the conversation, drinking and merriment before the impending battle on Virmire.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

Drinking fun times, woo!

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment About What Will Never Be. **


	10. A Moment About What Will Never Be

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect: Moments. **

A Moment About What Will Never Be.

* * *

_Failure. I am a failure._

Jagher stared at her reflection in the mirror, a small whimper escaping her lips. There were unshed tears in her eyes, emotion she could not show, not even when she was alone. If she started she wouldn't stop.

Wouldn't that be a sight for her crew? Their commander falling apart.

She had let Ashley die. Let her be murdered. Virmire had gone better than expected, but there hadn't been enough time, enough men, enough _anything _to save Ashley and Kaidan and... and, she couldn't have let Kaidan die. Jagher wouldn't have lived through that, but... had she made the right choice? Had she thought more about what she wanted than what would be best? No, no... Kaidan was capable of everything Ashley was and more. They were both excellent soldiers, but Kaidan was also a biotic.

_Is __**that **__what this is going to come down to? Experience? Skills? I made a conscious choice to let Ashley die fighting. She was a soldier. She knew that was a possibility, a very real danger of her job. She was prepared for that every time she went into battle; we all were. _Jagher pushed away from her mirror and dropped onto her bed, throwing an arm over her eyes, blocking out the dim light. _I chose Kaidan over her. I chose Kaidan because I need him here. With me. If I'm going to stop Saren for good, I need Kaidan. _

There was a knock at the door that pulled Shepard from her thoughts. She sat up on the bed and turned to face the door, wondering if she should answer; wondering if she wanted to face anyone right now.

After a moment, she called, "Come in."

The door sighed open, admitting Kaidan. He took three steps inside the room and stopped just outside the range of the door, letting it close behind him. The rest of the crew had questioned Jagher's choice to rescue Kaidan instead of Ashley. They had added to the doubts she felt. He wasn't there to question her or doubt her. Jagher looked at him for a moment and then got to her feet and crossed the room to put her arms around Kaidan. She felt his body grow tense beneath her and she nearly backed off, surprised at her display. Just as she was about to take a step back however, the staff lieutenant gathered her up in his arms and held her close.

For several moments, they just stood there in silence.

"How are you doing?" Kaidan asked, concern dominating his voice.

She pulled back just enough to look him in the eye. "A little torn; keep second-guessing myself." Kaidan raised an eyebrow at her and she huffed and pulled back from him completely. "Oh please Kaidan. I'm happy I saved you—I wouldn't change my mind even if I could but..."

"Everyone else is questioning you."

Jagher nodded and returned to her spot on the bed.

"Jagher, no one else here could have made that choice." Kaidan sat on the bed beside her, but not too close. "And there was no way we could have anticipated that situation and no way you could have prepared for it. You had to make an incredibly tough decision fast and you did." He shifted closer and placed a hand on her shoulder. "If we had had time, we would have gone back to get her. We didn't leave her behind lightly. _You _didn't leave her behind lightly. Ashley knew what she signed up for." When Jagher sighed, Kaidan wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her. "You're not a failure, Jagher."

The first human spectre looked up at Kaidan with her head still on his shoulder and gave him the only smile she could manage—a brief flicker of warmth. It didn't bother her that Kaidan could so easily figure out what was bothering her. It made her feel safe. She wrapped her arms around Kaidan again. "Thank you Kaidan."

"Now... how about a drink?"

Jagher gave him another smile, a better smile that followed him as he gathered up glasses and a bottle of vodka that Shepard directed him to. A moment later, they were seated at her desk, staring at each other with full glasses in hand.

"To Ashley," Kaidan said, raising the glass.

"To Ashley." Jagher clinked the edge of her glass to Kaidan's and drained it in one swallow.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

I... have nothing for an Author's Note.

Except the title is not about Jagher and Kaidan's relationship.

Enjoy.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment Interrupted. **


	11. A Moment Interrupted

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect: Moments. **

A Moment Interrupted.

* * *

"I guess we have some downtime to figure out what we are."

Jagher looked up at Kaidan, a small smile on her lips and a bit of a blush to her cheek. She so much wanted to say yes, to spend the downtime with Kaidan, talking and being close, feeling like a normal person with a somewhat normal relationship. But she couldn't just say yes. She couldn't just push everything else aside. They had to stop Saren and Sovereign, regardless of what the council said. They couldn't just sit there and do nothing. She couldn't just sit there and do nothing, as much as part of her wanted to. They had to find a way to get off the Citadel.

"Kaidan..."

He extended his hand towards her, leaning down slightly since she was sitting with her back against the lockers. "Come on Jagher," he said quietly.

She sighed playfully and took his hand, allowing him to pull her up and into his arms; she said a silent thank you that Kaidan was on this mission with her. He had this ability to make her feel better, to make her smile when that was the farthest thing from her mind.

One of Jagher's hands came to rest on Kaidan's chest. She stepped closer into him, her other hand sliding up to his shoulder, fingers dancing across his neck. The staff lieutenant dropped a hand to her waist, fingers kneading along her side, up to her ribs, as he used his other hand to brush some of her dark brown hair back from her face. They drew closer until a deep breath was all that separated them and what air there was between them was tense. Jagher inhaled sharply as Kaidan's lips brushed her ear and his body pressed against hers. She turned her face into him, moving for his lips.

"Uh, Commander? There's a message for you from Captain Anderson. He wants you to meet him at Flux."

Jagher jumped back from Kaidan the moment Joker's voice broke over the intercom, her breath rate rising and her face flushing a deep red. She took a deep breath to try and calm herself. Kaidan turned away, looking startled. "Were you listening in?" she asked, temper rising slightly. Kaidan's dark eyes caught hers and she felt her anger slide away.

"No ma'am. I just knew you were on board and would want the message as soon as possible."

Shepard rolled her eyes at the sarcastic tone in Joker's voice; he must have been listening in. "Yeah... thanks." She heard the intercom clicked off and Jagher sighed, running her hands back over her hair. The moment was gone and she was very disappointed; the memory of Kaidan's breath on her skin was too close to the surface. On the other hand, she now had something to do and since it was Anderson calling, she knew it would be something useful. Her green eyes found Kaidan and she tried to smile apologetically. "Kaidan..."

He stepped closer to her again but didn't touch her. "We'd better get going... Commander," he said with a smile.

She looked up at him, returned the cheeky smile and placed her hands on his chest, the motion bringing her even closer to Kaidan. Part of her wanted so much to finish what they'd started; part of her didn't want to go meet Anderson. But she knew she had to. Her relationship—whatever it may be—with Kaidan could wait. It would have to wait. Their relationship had developed fast but they could not go any farther, as much as she wanted it to.

Jagher rose to her tiptoes and pressed her lips to Kaidan's cheek, her hands still on his chest.

As she stepped away, Kaidan wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back, sliding his arms around her in a hug. "When this is over, Jagher, we'll have time," he whispered against his ear.

"I know."

She pulled away again and smiled at him over her shoulder.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

Had to expand it.

* * *

**Next Moment: Human. **


	12. A Moment of Humanity

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect: Moments.  
**A Moment of Humanity.

* * *

Ilos, Saren, Soverign, the geth, the fight for the universe... it was all so far from her mind as she lay there, safe and warm in Kaidan's arms. Her long dark brown hair was hanging around her naked shoulders, sticking to her skin and Kaidan's chest, her eyes were closed and she was smiling. The final battle was in sight and she couldn't stop smiling, couldn't help feeling happy and human and whole. When he'd entered her quarters and agreed to stay with her, something inside had fallen into place, clicked. When she'd kissed him and he'd taken her in his arms, she'd felt wonderful and warm and perfect. Jagher had known something was building between them, but she had never really thought something would happen. He was her subordinate officer and their relationship was against Alliance regulations.

But was good was being a spectre if you couldn't use your power for good?

Jagher knew her and Kaidan wouldn't let their relationship get in the way of their jobs, not in any detrimental way, anyway. She knew Anderson suspected something since their last visit to the Citadel, before he'd helped them escape, but he would never make a move to stop them. If Jagher and Kaidan both survived the looming battle, she didn't think anyone would stand in their way.

But lying there in Kaidan's arms, Jagher found it hard to care about what anything else was going to think.

She turned her head to look at the man responsible for her current detached and languid state, putting her chin on his chest and drinking in the smile he was giving her: a purely male expression, warm, slightly possessive, and filled with the knowledge that he was responsible for the state of the woman in his arms. The fingers of one hand danced lightly along her spine and she wrapped one leg around his, their bodies reacting to each other. Jagher shifted up, the blanket falling lower on her back, and propped herself up with one arm, elbow digging into the mattress and fingers sliding into her hair. A small sigh escaped her lips and she turned her bright green eyes to Kaidan once more.

"We're going to survive this," she said.

Kaidan shifted a bit, so he was more reclined against the pillows than lying down. "Is that a statement or a question?"

She rolled her eyes and poked Kaidan in the chest playfully. He grinned at her and she leaned in close, until their noses were just touching. The air between them turned serious. "We have to survive, Kaidan."

He slid the fingers of one hand into her hair and, keeping eye contact, pulled her closer until their lips brushed. Kaidan kissed her as if he'd eat her from the mouth down, arms sliding around her waist and hands roaming lower. Jagher returned the kiss, hands sliding down his chest. When they came up for air a moment later, with their limbs once again entangled and skin freshly flushed, Kaidan gently moved her head so they were looking each other in the eye. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her lips and brushed her hair back from her face, exposing her beautiful green eyes.

"We will survive, Jag," he whispered.

She put her hands on either side of his face and let all her emotions flood into her eyes. "I want this to continue; I want to see where this goes. Kaidan, this can't be the end of this..."

He kissed her again, more gentle and tender this time. "This isn't the end; it won't be."

Jagher collapsed against her lover, arms pressed to either side of him and cheek pressed to his chest. "Why did we wait this long?" she asked.

Kaidan smiled against the top of her head and stroked her hair. "Rules?"

She chuckled and reached one hand out to entwine her fingers with his. He squeezed her hand before bringing to his lips and placing a kiss on the back of it. "We need more time..."

"We'll have time."

Jagher sighed heavily. She had this sinking feeling that they wouldn't have time. This thing with Saren and Soverign couldn't be the end of it; it had the distinctive feeling of the beginning of something and something big. The Reaper was controlling Saren. There were more Reapers. They wanted the Citadel. There was no way this was the end.

But there was no reason to dwell on that now. Best to enjoy the time they had.

She crawled up and kissed him full on the mouth, straddling his hips, hands roaming freely.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

No Author's Note again. These are for first-time thoughts and I've rewriting these. Thus, I have no thoughts.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment to Breathe. **


	13. A Moment to Breathe

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect: Moments.  
**A Moment to Breathe.

* * *

They'd won.

_We won? _

They'd won. Soverign-controlled Saren was dead. Sovereign's body had been destroyed. They'd won.

Shepard laughed, despite her arm being pinned by a chunk of rubble that had come flying into the Council chambers after the explosions outside. They had been so close to losing… She laughed again and just lay there for a moment, recovering from the shock of completing the task no one thought they would, and surviving it no less.

Jagher could hear people moving around beyond the rocks and rubble surrounding her. She thought she heard someone calling her name. She tried to answer, but found her voice nearly gone. The Spectre rolled onto her side, facing the rock that was pinning her and attempted to pull the broken limb free, but it wouldn't budge. She wedged her good arm and her legs under the fairly large chunk and pushed with everything she had left, every ounce of strength she could possibly summon, and it moved. It moved enough for her to pull herself completely free. She rolled onto her back, breathing heavily.

She felt her euphoria increase and another laugh bubbled up.

Then the pain came.

She rolled onto her side again, cradling her broken arm to her chest and curling into a ball around it. No tears came, but she squeezed her eyes shut, ground her teeth and waited for the pain to pass. Jagher cursed her lack of medi-gels and gasped with each beat of her heart, the blood try to work through her arm bringing new waves of pain.

"Shit, shit, shit!" she breathed.

After a moment of suffering, the pain did pass enough that she was able to breathe normally, to relax slightly and sit up. Arm still cradled to her body, Jagher struggled to her feet and started looking for a way out of her rubble-prison. On the other side of those obstacles would be medi-gels.

And Kaidan.

The sudden thought of the dark-haired man was enough to spur her into motion. She scrambled over the rocks, pushing mostly with her legs and pulling with her good arm. By the time she got to the top, her skin was covered in a sheen of sweat and her entire body pulsed with pain emanating from her arm, but she was able to get to her feet and slide most of the way down the other side. Her vision blurred and she thought for a minute that she was going to pass out as she was sliding.

Her boots hit the ground and her knees buckled, but Kaidan was there to catch her. "You still in one piece, Commander?"

Jagher laughed and leaned a little heavier into her lover, her good arm wrapped around his neck and her face pressed against his neck, the scent of him, even dirty and sweaty comforting her. "For now," she replied breathily.

Kaidan pulled back slightly, took in her tired face, smiled and then kissed her, totally ignoring the eyes of everyone else in the Council's chambers. Surprised by her staff lieutenant's public display, Jagher paused. But it didn't last long. Heedless of the pain having her arm squished between her and Kaidan's bodies was causing, Jagher leaned farther into him and returned the kiss, suddenly glad she was alive, that she could be there kissing Kaidan. She didn't care who saw—rules be damned. She was alive, they were all alive.

They'd won.

_We won_.

They'd won, and though Shepard was sure the peace wouldn't last, that was what they had: a moment to breathe.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

Woo! Almost halfway done rewriting these!

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment to Remember.  
****It's the first of the Mass Effect 2 Moments! **


	14. A Moment to Remember

I do not own Mass Effect or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment to Remember.

* * *

Jagher was lying stretched across the bench on one side of the table in the mess hall, her arms folded behind her head and her ankles crossed. There was a small smile on her face and the remains of laughter in her eyes. The reason for that was sitting on the other side of the table, sipping his coffee. Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko and Commander Jagher were remembering the few days of shore leave they had been able to get in between Saren's attack on the Citadel and the Council ordering them to take out any remaining pockets of geth resistance. The days that had been filled with massages, lying on the beach, tropical drinks, and the steamy nights where they explored each other, learned what made the other moan.

"Do you think we'll make it back there after this is all over?" Kaidan asked.

"You mean after we stop the Reapers from destroying known life in the galaxy?" Jagher replied, jokingly. "Sure." She sat up and leaned across the table, getting as close to her lover as she could without being on the same side of the table or crawling over it. "We'll find time to get back to that resort planet Kaidan. I wouldn't skip that for anything."

He leaned across the table, putting his face closer to hers. "Good, because I wouldn't much like to have to drag you there."

Jagher smiled and leaned in closer ready to kiss Kaidan, but there was an explosion and Normandy rocked hard, sending the Commander flying backwards off the bench and into the wall behind her. The wind flew from her lungs, but Jagher got to her feet and took a few measured breaths, regaining her composure. She reached the intercom and slammed her hand down on the button.

"What's going on Joker?"

"_Unknown enemy shooting at us. They came out of that star to our portside." _

"It's not the geth?"

"_I don't think so Commander. That's why I said unknown." _

"Well get us out of the line of fire!"

"_I'm trying Commander."_

Jagher ran to her locker and began pulling on her armour, Kaidan vanishing down the emergency ladders to the cargo hold where his locker was. Joker hit the evacuation alarm and Jagher cursed on her breath, just as the ship rolled and fire erupted to her left. After regaining her balance, the commander pulled the rest of her armour on and headed to the nearest panel, helmet in hand. Seeing that many of the crew were already in escape pods or on their way, and that the distress call to the Alliance had already gone out, Shepard breathed a small sigh of relief. She pulled her helmet on and the airlocks engaged, sealing out the smoke.

Kaidan reappeared, dressed in his armour and tossed her a fire extinguisher and she began sweeping it back and forth over the flames as the rest of the nearby crew made for the escape pods.

"Commander! Let's go!"

"You go Kaidan! Make sure the crew gets out of here! I'm going after Joker!"

Before he left, Kaidan gave her a quick, one-armed hug and they shared a look, saying everything they thought and felt in a second. He squeezed her hand and she headed deeper into the flaming wreckage to rescue her pilot.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

Bah. Something rewriting things is hard because you find all these mistakes and you wonder how you could have written them.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment to Fall.**


	15. A Moment to Fall

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment to Fall.

* * *

She knew she was done for.

You don't fall through space and live.

She was sure most of the crew had managed to get off the ship. She was sure that most everyone was safe. She had put Joker in an escape pod herself and she knew Kaidan had been running around the _Normandy _making sure everyone escaped. Most of her crew would be safe. They would make it home.

Not her.

Jagher had been pushed out of the remains of the _Normandy _by an explosion. She was tumbling through the black, stars faint points of light in the distance, the fires of her ship illuminating the space around her dramatically as she hurtled towards the planet below her.

It looked cold.

She was going to die, that much was certain.

Everything seemed to slow.

Jagher's body rotated, pulled by the planet's gravity and pushed by the force of the explosion and her green eyes caught sight of the _Normandy_. Or, what was left of it anyways. There was a sudden pain in her chest and her eyes started to itch. She couldn't be sure if it was emotion or if it was just the effects of open space on her fragile human body, but regardless she left herself cry.

Her thoughts were of the face she'd never see again. Her friends, her crew, her lover.

Joker and Garrus and Tali and Wrex and Liara: the members of her crew she'd traveled all over the galaxy recruiting, the people she'd saved and fought for and fought with. They were her friends, the people she trusted with her life.

Joker always had a sarcastic quip ready, and though he didn't always agree with Shepard, she knew he would have done his best to stand behind her no matter what. He had kept the ship flying.

Garrus had always had a story to share, whether it was insightful, funny, or comforting and he always had words of encouragement ready to give. He was a damn good shot and shared Shepard's love of the battlefield. Jagher had bonded with the turian. He had followed to hell and back. He was her best friend.

Jagher wished she had spent more time talking to Tali, learning all she could about technology and AI from the friendly quarian. She'd never met a quarian before Tali. The masked girl had been invaluable right from the beginning when she'd provided proof that Saren had gone rogue.

Wrex. He had begrudgingly begun to talk to her and learning the mind of a krogan was a rare opportunity. Jagher had found him interesting and a little scary, but he had had her back.

And Liara… well, Jagher could admit to herself at the end of her life that she hadn't always been fond of the asari, but she had helped decipher the prothean visions, leading the crew to the final confrontation so they could stop Saren. Jagher had never thanked her properly for that.

There were many other faces around the _Normandy _that Shepard would never see again, would never get to talk to or say thank you for their service, for their advice… Ashley's face flashed through her mind's eye and Jagher had to push it away. She couldn't think of Ashley except to say _I'll see you soon. _

And Kaidan. Kaidan. Jagher's core ached with the thought of never seeing Kaidan again, of never touching or kissing him again, of never holding him or being held by him, of never lying entwined as they spoke of anything that came to mind…

Fire consumed her body as she plummeted down to the icy planet, but she didn't feel the pain. Her thoughts were on Kaidan, on the way his mouth looked when he gave her that slightly crooked smile, and on the look he'd had in his eyes when he'd come to her quarters the night before they reached Ilos. She closed her eyes and remembered how she had felt when she'd kissed Kaidan for the first time. As the tears slid down her cheeks and almost immediately were evaporated by the heat of the fire around her, Jagher forced herself to think of the happy things surrounding Kaidan and not on how much it hurt to think they would never see each other again.

As she finally, blissfully loss consciousness in the upper atmosphere of the planet, Jagher was hoping Kaidan would be able to move on after she was gone, that he wouldn't let her death destroy him as well.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

This Moment still hurts.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment of Emotion.**


	16. A Moment of Emotion

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated content. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. We're both very attached to out Sheps. This fic is a collection of moments throughout the first two games and is the alternative to writing a fic that goes along with the games, since everyone knows how those go. The moments are rated for language and violence, but it's Shep, so ya'll knew that already. Enjoy!

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**... A Moment of Emotion.

* * *

Had someone thought this would be funny?

Jagher Shepard, technically two years older and newly rebuilt, sat in her quarters on the _Normandy SR2_—that was some kind of joke as well—staring at a picture of Kaidan. She was sore and didn't really feel like herself, but she was pretty sure that was to be expected after having been liquefied, brought back to life before she was complete and almost immediately forced to start fighting. Jagher ran a hand back through her hair and stared at the picture.

Someone had a sick sense of humour.

She had been informed that Kaidan was still alive, working covert operations for the Alliance out in the Terminus systems. Jagher had half a mind to order Joker to turn the ship around and go find Kaidan; she knew that would be near impossible. The Terminus systems were massive and unorganized, dangerous and undefended. If she took the _Normandy _out there, there was a very good chance they wouldn't survive. No, Kaidan was going to have to hang out there and continue believing she was dead. Unless, of course, word reached him that she was alive. Several people had already sent her messages asking if it was really her; she was just thankful that her mother or her sister hadn't found out yet. She wanted to tell them herself.

But this picture… All it did was remind her of what she'd lost.

Jagher reached over and put the picture face down. She didn't want to look at Kaidan, not right now.

She huffed and got to her feet to begin pacing. Past the aquarium. The table and couches. The desk. The bed. Back to where the picture of Kaidan sat. She didn't like this ship; not yet, maybe not ever. Sure it was comfortable—it wasn't a military vessel. They had more money to put towards luxuries. It was bigger than the original as well, but it wasn't the same. There was something missing. Something important, something to make the ship feel like… Jagher didn't even know anymore. She just didn't want to be there.

She wanted her life, her ship, her crew back. She didn't want to find new people to work with. She wanted Kaidan.

Jagher righted the picture and stared at that familiar face, studied the lines of his lips, his jaw, his eyes… Studied the face she knew so well and would likely never see again. She sobbed once and tears began to fall.

Why did they bring her back? Why couldn't they find someone else to fight the Reapers? Why couldn't someone else save the galaxy? Why couldn't they have just left her where she was? Why couldn't they have left her dead?

After a moment of weakness, Jagher sniffed back her tears and wiped her face dry. There was no way she was going to appear weak in front of the Cerberus crew; she was not going to let them see she was hurting. This was her ship, regardless of who had built it or funded it, and even if she didn't like it, she was going to command it the way she wanted. The Illusive Man and all his cryptic plans could kiss her ass. She would stop the Collectors from doing whatever they were doing, but it wouldn't be for Cerberus.

She reached forward and briefly pressed her fingers to the picture of Kaidan.

Then, she got to her feet, checked her appearance in the bathroom mirror and stepped into the elevator to head down to the Command centre.

She would play along with the joke. For now.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

So, for some reason, I'm stupidly excited for **Mass Effect 3 **already.

It's that stupid insanity play through, I think.

Anyways, enjoy.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment In Need.**


	17. A Moment in Need

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment In Need.

* * *

The Citadel was different.

And not just because of the portion that had been blown to hell was being completely rebuilt or something arbitrary like that. It just didn't feel the same. There wasn't that carefree atmosphere, the air of people of all races who were enjoying living in a beautiful place. The people of the Citadel were scared. It wasn't an outright feeling of terror, but a subtle undercurrent, a furtive glance cast to her weapons. And who could blame them? The Citadel had almost been completely destroyed by a Reaper. Who could honestly blame anyone who had lived through that from being alarmed?

But Jagher didn't like the way the new Citadel felt. She rotated her shoulders in her armour as she stepped out of the shop; she wasn't used to the new fit of her armour yet. Miranda and Kasumi were standing behind her, both watching the Commander but neither saying anything.

"You two can head back to the ship," Jagher told them suddenly. "We have everything we need."

"And you Shepard?" Miranda asked.

"I just want to take a walk around before I get back on the ship and fight more. I haven't had a lot of quiet since I… woke up."

She heard her companions agree and then walk off towards the rapid transit. Jagher followed their path after they were gone. Instead of taking a shuttle back to where the _Normandy _was docked, she took one up to the Presidium.

Shockingly, the predominately white area that was where she had spent most of her time on the Citadel before looked almost identical to its former appearance—or at least what she remembered of it. The air of fear was here as well though, and it took away from the joy of seeing something unchanged. Jagher walked along the path, one hand trialing along the railing as she moved, as she remembered. The trees were maybe a little shorter, the light not quite as bright, but this was a place she had felt safe, up until Sovereign's attack. Safe from everything but politics.

She stopped by a particular pool of water that had once held fish. Her and Kaidan had sat there and talked about how they had needed a break from all the fighting, from the stress, and how they would have time when it was all over. Jagher half expected Kaidan to show up there and put his hand on her shoulder, to bring up the exact memory running through her head and give her that warm, reassuring smile as his fingers danced across the back of her neck.

Jagher shivered with the memory of his fingers on her.

_But he's not here, Jag. You've got to stop expecting him to show up. Maybe you'll find him, but you can't wait._

Jagher sighed and pushed herself away from the railing. There was business still to be done on the Citadel. It wasn't any business that had to with Cerberus or the Illusive Man's plans for whatever; it was personal business and thoughts of Kaidan could wait.

She had received a message from Captain Anderson, the man she had appointed a council member after the dust from the attack had settled and a man she had served under proudly. He couldn't believe she was alive, so she had promised him to stop by once she was back on the Citadel and say hi, to show that it was really her. She understood his need to see her in order to believe it wasn't some imposter Shepard—after all, how often does someone come back from being liquefied?—but that wasn't the only reasons he had said she'd come. Jagher was in need of a friendly face, of someone she knew and trusted.

Jagher Shepard was in dire need of a friend.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

I remember the first time I played ME2 and I went to the Citadel and I was hoping Kaidan would be there.

*sigh*

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment Of Being Shut Out.**


	18. A Moment of Being Shut Out

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment Of Being Shut Out.

* * *

Anderson's office, the same one Udina had used as councillor, looked exactly the same. There might have bene a new coat of paint, but it was the same office, aside from the fact that Jagher didn't dread approaching the doors.

As Jagher had walked through the hallways towards the office, she'd felt a knot a form in her gut, a knot that was still there, a knot that had grown when the doors wooshed open and revealed the scene waiting for her inside the office.

The current ambassador of humanity to the interspecies council was standing on the balcony, watching the people below. Jagher knew he knew she was there, so she took her time walking across the room, thinking about what she would say. There hadn't been any purpose in coming here other than Anderson had wanted to see her, to know that it was the real Shepard the rumours were about and not some imposter. And she wanted to see her friend. As she was approaching Anderson however, someone else stepped out from around the partition in the room, a deep frown on her face.

"Hello Jagher, nice of you to call."

Jagher Shepard stopped in her tracks and rolled her eyes, more out of habit than of any displeasure at seeing her sister. "Hello Fayelle," she replied. The Commander nodded at Anderson as he turned around and looked at her with wide eyes. "Hi."

"Why the hell didn't you send a message or something? You vanish for two years, let everyone think you were dead and then you just _show up_?" Fayelle crossed the room and jabbed her finger into her sister's shoulder hard enough to make Jagher take a half-step back. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Jagher batted Fayelle's hand away and glared at her younger sister. "Can this wait until later please?"

Fayelle opened her mouth, but then shut it again, her teeth grinding audibly. "Fine, but don't think I'm going to drop this. I'm going to get something to eat and then I'll be back." She punched Jagher's arm and then marched passed her. "Don't you think of leaving on me. I'll find you."

"Yeah yeah." Jagher turned to Anderson and spread her arms to either side. "Well, as you can see, it's me and not some imposter using my name to get places." She should have been nicer to the man who had helped her out of more than one jam, but seeing her sister again before she was ready had made her mad. Jagher closed her eyes and took another deep breath. "Sorry Captain."

"Not Captain anymore, Shepard," he answered with a smile. "Councillor."

"Yeah, right." Jagher shook her head and tried to focus on the moment. "How is that going?"

Anderson shrugged as Jagher joined him on the balcony. "It's not how I planned on living out the end of my career, but I'd say it's going fine."

"You don't sound happy."

"I'm a soldier Shepard. I wasn't meant for all this." He gestured vaguely around at the Presidium before them in all its bright, shining and rebuilt glory. "I understand why you made the choice you did, Shepard, but this is just…"

"Not you. Do I apologize for putting you in this position? You know as well as I do that Udina could very likely have led us in some bad directions."

"There's no need to apologize." Anderson gave Shepard a small smile. "I need to apologize about your sister. I had no idea she'd act like that. I thought she'd be happy to see you alive and well. I know I am. Humanity has its hero again."

Jagher couldn't stop the blush that crept into her cheeks; she'd never done well with the term hero, but she didn't say anything against it. "Fayelle _is _happy. She's just mad I didn't call her first thing after I woke up, but I wasn't sure how I was going to tell her that it was Cerberus who fixed me, who brought me back. How do you tell someone that their arch nemesis brought your older sister back from the dead? Hell, I'm having a hard enough time dealing with it myself." She looked at her feet for a moment and then back up at Anderson. "But they did bring me back. Although I'm not one-hundred percent sure why they did. I haven't really learned anything else except for its Collectors who are taking humans from the Terminus Systems and I'm supposed to be gathering a team to fight them."

"You don't want a new team though, do you?"

Jagher gave a weak smile. "Am I that obvious?" Since the topic had come up, Jagher decided to dive right in. Anderson knew about the relationship between herself and Kaidan Alenko, so it wouldn't come as a shock to him. She just had to know. "Where is Kaidan Alenko?" she asked.

"I can't discuss the parameters of his mission with you, Commander. You are working with Cerberus, however tenuous the alliance may be."

There was a surge of anger, but she fought it back. Of course he couldn't tell her; she should have known better than to ask him such a question. She was technically an enemy of the Alliance because of the forced employment under Cerberus and The Illusive Man. Maybe the blue eyed bastard had bugged her armour. There was no way to know. She shook her head and tried to find the focus that was eluding her.

"Of course Cap—Councillor." She looked down again. "Just tell me that he's still alive."

"As far as I know, Jagher, he is in perfect health. I haven't seen Alenko since right after your 'death,' but from everything I've heard, he's doing well."

Jagher took in the friendly smile on Anderson's face and returned one of her own. "Good."

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

Andersoooooooooooooon.

These author's notes are the most intelligent things I think I've ever written.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment of Nostalgia.**


	19. A Moment of Nostalgia

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment Of Nostalgia.

* * *

"Aria was a piece of work, wasn't she?"

Jagher looked sideways at her sister and then rolled her eyes. Fayelle had decided she was going to tag along for a bit to catch up with her sister and to make sure she didn't go and get herself killed again. They had just returned to the _Normandy _from Omega to get some rest. Tomorrow they would start with the dossiers The Illusive Man had provided. EDI had suggested going after Mordin Solus first, and it sounded like an excellent idea to Jagher.

But Jagher couldn't think about that because Fayelle had decided she wasn't going to shut up.

"Where does she get off demanding you go and see her anyways? Doesn't she know who you are?"

"Faye, I'm quite certain Aria knew exactly who I was, but Omega is her rock and I have to follow her rules if I don't want to cause trouble."

The younger Shepard looked at her sister like she had spontaneously grown a second head. "Since when have you gone out of your way to avoid trouble?" When Jagher gave her the indignant look she was expecting, Fayelle snorted in laughter. "Seriously though Jagher, when are we going to talk about this whole coming back from the dead thing? I want to know more and I want to know why you're still working for Cerberus. We have to talk."

"We will Faye, I promise, but right now, I would really like to get some rest."

"All right, all right. I think I'm going to go talk to Joker about this new ship. It's pretty spiffy."

Never having understood her sister's obsession with ships, Jagher just nodded and watched Fayelle move towards the cockpit. When she was gone, Jagher turned towards the elevator and was immediately blocked by her yeoman; at that moment, Jagher couldn't remember her name. She didn't want a yeoman, never had. "What is it?" she asked from between clenched teeth.

"You have several new messages waiting for you."

Jagher held up a hand as she pushed her way past the redhead. "I'll deal with them in my quarters."

But she didn't want to look at the messages at that moment. She didn't want to do anything but sleep and she knew that if she went up to her room, habits and responsibilities would dictate that she dealt with those messages first. Instead, Jagher took the elevator down to the engineering deck and descended even farther into the bowels of the ship to the small room at the bottom where someone had set up a cot and it was quiet. No one ever came down here and no one would look for her down her for a least a little while. Jagher stretched out on the cot and closed her eyes; down there, she could almost pretend that everything was the same as it had been.

The more she'd looked at the dossiers, the more she'd wished she could have her old team. The more she'd thought about the ship, the more she'd missed the original _Normandy. _The more she'd stared at the new facilities, the more she'd wished the orange-lit corner had still been where the kitchen was and that Kaidan had still been behind that console, working away on whatever had absorbed all of his free time.

Jagher put a hand over her eyes and shook her head. She had to move on; she knew that. She had to man up and face the challenge Cerberus had set out for her. Once that was complete, she could return to the Alliance hopefully and just pick up where she had left off in her proper line of work.

_All you have to do now, Jag, is survive a suicide mission._

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

I always wondered _why _that cot was there.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment to Break Down.**


	20. A Moment to Break Down

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment to Break Down.

* * *

"Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Jagher looked at Joker and nodded. It was the most sombre she'd ever seen Joker, but she appreciated it. "I'd have to do it sooner or later, right? Who else _should _do this?" She looked out the window, down at the snowy planet beneath where the wreckage of the original _Normandy _lay scattered, where her ship lay broken and forgotten by most. They'd come rushing out here from Omega as soon as she'd received the request from Hackett. The dossiers could wait. This was important. "Who else could do this?" she whispered.

The pilot reached up and placed a hand on his friend's arm. "I'll leave a comm. channel open to me, but other than that you'll be by yourself."

"Thanks Joker."

Jagher gave him another smile before she turned and walked through the ship to the shuttle bay. She climbed into the smaller vehicle and settled herself behind the controls, adjusting her weapons to make it more comfortable. After sucking in a deep breath, she keyed in the sequence and the shuttle left the shelter of the _Normandy _and zipped down to the planet that was to be the memorial site for her ship. The planet where she had died. As the shuttle neared the ground, she felt the tears on her cheeks.

"Damn it," she cursed, wiping at her exposed cheeks. She looked down at her helmet on the seat beside her and then radioed back to Joker. "Is the atmosphere breathable?" she asked.

If Joker heard the tears in her voice, he didn't say anything. _"No. It's mostly methane." _

"Shit. Okay."

When the shuttle touched down and Jagher was standing on the icy surface amongst the rubble, the tears flowed freely and she couldn't stop them, although she tried. She hated having her helmet on when she cried.

She moved towards the first piece of the _Normandy _she saw: the platform where she'd stood to access the galaxy map. A memory of Navigator Pressly flashed through her mind; he had been her XO, her second in command.

As she moved deeper into the wreckage, a glint of silver caught her eye and she moved towards it. A dog tag. As she bent over to pick it up, the e-mail from Admiral Hackett came back to her, asking her to find the dog tags so they could be returned to the families of the deceased and the missing. She also had to place a memorial statue.

She balled her hand around the chain and turned to leave the piece of wreckage. By the time she reached the snow again, she was sobbing quietly, but she moved towards the other pieces of wreckage, gathering dog tags as she went and suffering the flashes of memory of her crew, her friends, all of whom were gone.

When she had all the dog tags in her grasp and was followed everywhere by the jingling of the metal, she moved towards the last piece of her ship, a piece of the hull that had held the name emblazoned on it in giant letters. Part of it was missing and part of it was buried in the snow, but Jagher felt its impact like a punch to the gut. All the wind went out of her lungs and she staggered a few steps before she fell to her knees in a puff of powdery snow. Her grief made her feel as if the cold fingers of the wind were reaching through her armour. She started to shiver.

Jagher groaned and pushed herself to her feet. She was a Commander of the Alliance military. She was the first human spectre. She was a respected figure. She couldn't be breaking down here in the snow, in front of the remains of her old ship. Setting her jaw, Jagher moved back towards her shuttle where the intended statue for the memorial sat. Once it was retrieved, she carried it back to the piece of the hull and placed it on the ground in front of the letters that meant so much to her, that meant so much to so many people, that carried the memories of those she had worked with, those she had grown close to, those she had loved. With the statue placed and the dog tags collected, Jagher could leave.

Instead of heading back to her shuttle thought, she approached the hull and placed a hand on the metal for a moment. She closed her eyes and just remembered what she had lost.

_And what you still have. _

Her team was still alive, just not with her. Most of the people on the _Normandy _had survived.

Jagher opened her eyes and headed back to the shuttle, knowing no one, least of all her, would forget the _Normandy._

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

This DLC hurt so bad. I legit cried the whole time I was looking for dog tags.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment Of Old Friends.**


	21. A Moment of Old Friends

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment With Old Friends.

* * *

Jagher Shepard was getting used to being surprised. In her line of work, it was pretty commonplace. However, when the Archangel figure in her dossiers turned out to be Garrus Vakarian, Shepard found herself completely shocked. The former turian C-Sec officer had been a member of her original crew, had been someone she trusted with her life, her friend and here he was, just when she thought she was going to have to face the Collectors and Cerberus on her own.

She walked down to the Main Battery Room, the place Garrus had chosen to spend most of his free time since receiving the needed medical attention after the battle on Omega. When the doors opened, the turian turned and offered his version of a smile, the bandage on his face crumbling slightly with the motion.

"How are you feeling?" Jagher asked.

"All right, considering. Chakwas gave me something that's helping with the pain."

Jagher sat on some of the crates that had been piled in the corner. "I'm glad you're all right. And that you're here. I can't tell you how good it is to see a familiar face."

Garrus leaned against the console behind him and crossed his arms over his burnt armour. "I can imagine," he said. "To be honest, I'm not sure how you're coping with waking up to find your life and world torn apart. I went back to the Citadel afterwards, to try and pick up my old life, but too many things had changed."

"If I ran, Cerberus would find me and drag me back. I'm not working with them by choice."

"They _did _bring you back to life."

"I know." Jagher sighed. "And while part of me is grateful…"

"They brought you back to fight the evils of the galaxy without thinking what it would mean for you."

Shepard smiled at her old friend and nodded, a bit of a laugh escaping her lips. It was a bitter laugh. "That's exactly it, and up until now, I haven't had anyone to talk to. I've been moping around the ship with no one to talk to except Joker and my fish," she said with something like realization in her voice.

"Fish?"

"Oh yeah, this new Normandy has many luxuries. Like a giant-ass fish tank in my quarters." She laughed again, decidedly less bitter.

Garrus offered up a laugh as well and then winced when it pulled at the injured flesh underneath the bandage covering most of the right side of his face. "Has it been any better with your sister here?"

Jagher sighed. She couldn't quite keep the smile off her face. It felt good to talk to someone from two years ago, someone who had been in the thick of it all with her. Joker was great to talk to, but he had been stuck on the ship thanks to his disease, so it wasn't quite the same. And Fayelle… Garrus was right about it being better. As much as her and Fayelle butted heads, the younger girl was Jagher's sister and the only living member of her family who had cared enough to come and see her. Even Hannah Shepard, their mother, had only sent an angry e-mail.

"Yeah it has, but Fayelle can be a handful."

"Jagher, you down here?"

At the yell, Jagher smiled at Garrus. "Speak of the devil." She turned her face towards the doors. "In here, Faye!"

Fayelle opened the door to the Main Battery Room and smiled at Garrus before turning her attention to her sister. "There's a call coming in about something… Not sure. Joker wouldn't let me hear the transmission, but he couldn't get a hold of you, so he sent me to find you. I don't know who he thinks I am."

"Apparently you're his personal message service." Jagher pushed herself off the crates and turned to her turian friend. "I'll talk to you later Garrus?"

Garrus nodded, the plates of his face shifting into what passed for a turian's smile. "I'll be here Shep."

As Jagher left, her sister began to ask Garrus questions; Fayelle had always been the more inquisitive of the two and she loved learning about other species' culture and history. The doors whooshed closed behind her and Jagher smiled to herself, thinking that the _Normandy SR2 _finally felt a little more comfortable, finally felt a little more like the home the original had been. And maybe, just maybe, if Garrus could come aboard, so could some of the others from her original team.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

GARBUS PLS.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment About Being Girly.**


	22. A Moment of Being Girly

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment About Being Girly.

* * *

"You look good Shep."

The look Jagher shot Garrus across the room was not a happy or amused one. She crossed her arms under her chest and frowned, staring at the wall behind her team and trying to ignore the looks she was getting from the assembled crew in the room. Her cheeks had already flushed. Jagher couldn't remember the last time she'd felt embarrassed.

_Damn dress, _Shepard thought as she felt her cheeks flush. _Damn Kasumi for making me wear the damn dress. I want my damn armour back._

"Garrus is right you know," the aforementioned thief said from her position leaning on the pillar. "You should wear nice clothes more often."

"I like my armour," Jagher grumbled. "And my uniform."

"Typical solider," Fayelle snorted around a laugh.

Jagher shot another violent glare at her sister. "I hate this dress and I just want this mission to be over."

Fayelle approached her sister and draped an arm around her shoulders, turning her and leading her away from the debriefing room. Jagher let herself be led away. "Stop whining Jag. You look great and you know it. You just don't like being a girl."

Jagher punched Fayelle in the shoulder and pushed herself away from her sister, but she was smiling. "I was never very good at it."

"Well with both parents in the military, what do you expect?"

They had started walking down the corridor towards the cockpit, but Jagher had barely noticed. She was too involved in the moment with her sister. It had been too long since they had had a conversation where they didn't spend half of it yelling at each other. "You managed okay. Until you enlisted, anyway."

"I still do okay as far as being girly goes," Fayelle said with a grin. "I wear a little makeup."

Jagher frowned at that, but this was a playful expression as opposed to the outright discomfort of moments before. "That baffles me. How can you wear makeup?"

"Jag," Fayelle said, once again wrapping an arm around her sister's shoulders. She placed her other hand on the front of her sister's shoulder as they continued their slow walk down the hall. "I do not spend ninety percent of my time running around unexplored worlds, fighting off hoards of geth and other assorted bad guys. I _do _a lot of undercover work. I get to dress up on a regular basis." Fayelle stopped walking and stood to one side of her sister.

As Jagher started to turn to see why they had stopped, she met with a bright flash. When the light cleared, Joker was smiling at her from his chair, a camera in his hands.

"Sorry Commander," he said through a wide smile. "But we couldn't let this go undocumented."

"Of course not." Jagher wanted to be mad, but she couldn't keep the grimace on her face. Her lips split in a wide grin and laughter bubbled out.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

Shepard in a dress is hilarious.

Also, this was the Moment that gave me the idea to write these.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment Where Anger Wins.**


	23. A Moment Where Anger Wins

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment Where Anger Wins.

* * *

"That cowardly son of a bitch."

"Jag, you may not want to say those things on his ship."

"Fucking, two-faced son of a _whore_."

"Jagher, he's going to hear you."

"I DON'T CARE!" Jagher stopped her pacing and turned her attention to her sister and Garrus behind her. "LET HIM HEAR ME!" She batted away Fayelle's hands when her younger sister tried to hug her. The elder Shepard was full of rage; everything she had been holding back about the ship, Kaidan, working for Cerberus, Kaidan… It was just coming out in the face of The Illusive Man's latest plan. "HE DRAGGED KAIDAN INTO THIS!"

"SHEPARD!" Garrus yelled.

The noise just made her growl. Fayelle tried to grab her sister again, but Jagher just marched away and headed for the cockpit. "JOKER!"

"Yes Shepard?"

"Turn us around. We are _not _going to Horizon. We are not bringing the Collectors there."

"What if the Collectors get there before us?" the pilot asked.

Jagher groaned and wheeled around and started marching back to the command centre, Garrus and Fayelle following. Fayelle leapt at her sister and all but tackled her to the ground. Jagher stumbled before whirling and landing a solid punch in Fayelle's gut, but the distraction gave Garrus the moment he needed. The turian wrapped his arms around her middle and pulled her back until there was enough room to turn the Commander around and stare her in the eye; the other crew members on the deck turned their attention elsewhere.

"Shepard," Garrus said. "You have to go to Horizon. The Collectors will be on their way, if they're not already there. Kaidan can take care of himself, but the other people on that colony need us."

Fayelle approached from the side. "I know you're pissed that The Illusive Man brought Kaidan in on this, but you can't not help those people. They need your help, even though they don't think they do."

Jagher shook her head, stubbornly refusing to see the logic, the rationality. "I can't go there," she finally said. "I can't."

"You have no choice, Shepard," Miranda said from the doorway.

Jagher roughly untangled herself from Garrus and Fayelle and marched towards Miranda. She pointed a finger at the genetically modified woman and narrowed her green eyes. "I am really starting to hate you and your Illusive Man and all your 'brilliant' plans." Jagher stomped passed Miranda. "Tell Joker to take us to Horizon. I'll be in my quarters," she called over her shoulder.

Jagher did want to see Kaidan again, more than anything, but she wasn't so sure he'd want to see her again.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

ILLUSIVE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.

So much hate.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment Where It All Comes Back.**


	24. A Moment Where It All Comes Back

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment Where It All Comes Back.

* * *

Jagher was in shock. Or, as close to it as she could get without _actually _going into clinical shock. She didn't remember anything beyond seeing him again, none of the fighting, the Collector's—_anything_. The only reason she knew any of that had happened was because she was as scuffed and scraped up as her armour was and there was that ringing in her ears that only came after a firefight. But she didn't remembering _doing _any of it.

All she remembered was Kaidan.

She had known he would be there, somewhere in the colony, and she had worried about him and about seeing him again, but somehow she had never got around to wondering what would happen when she actually did see him again, when she talked to him again.

She couldn't have prepared for what had happened anyway.

He had taken her in her arms when he had first seen her, and for a moment, a brief wonderful moment, Jagher had thought nothing would be amiss, that they could just pick up where they had left off. She had been near blissful in that moment with Kaidan again. But it had ended all too soon, about the time he'd remembered that she was working for Cerberus, an organization they had spent a good deal of time fighting before she'd died and an organization that, in his words, "stood for everything they fought against."

Kaidan had backed away from her then and she knew the next words out of his mouth would hurt. And they did.

But she couldn't let it show. Not while she was leading her team through the wreckage of Horizon, not while they were hunting the Collector's and trying to find the reason behind the attacks on human colonies. She couldn't be Jagher, not when she had to be the famous Commander Shepard, not when she had to be more than her human self. Her resolve had very nearly faltered under the realization that she may never be with Kaidan again, that he may hate her actions since she'd come back from the dead too much to love her the way he had. That had hadn't wanted to listen to her reasoning for working with Cerberus had hurt even more.

So it was that Jagher was sitting in her quarters back on the _Normandy _as the ship sped towards their next mission, trying to find the will to continue working for The Illusive Man; they had had a rather loud and volatile conversation, at least on Jagher's part, after she had returned from Horizon. She was at the end of her patience with the infuriating man and his glowing cybernetic blue eyes. Jagher didn't want to abandon the human colonies in the Terminus systems, nor did she want to leave her new crew, but how was she supposed to work for the man who had put her and Kaidan in that situation?

Jagher fell back onto her bed, her green eyes immediately going to the expanse of stars visible above her. They were traveling too fast to see the individual points of light. The stars were just streaks, but they were beautiful still.

She felt the ship slow beneath her; the faint whir of the nearly silent engines and the quiet groans of the various metals of the hull. They were settling into orbit around whatever planet it was. She couldn't even remember where she'd chosen to go for the next mission. There were so many people who needed their help, how was she to keep track of them all?

With a groan of her own, Jagher pushed herself off the bed and made for the elevator, knowing her presence would be required soon enough.

She did pause to wonder why it had been her all those year ago. Why had she been chosen? Why was it her life that had to be disrupted?

Jagher knew the answer of course, and she didn't really regret being chosen, not by a long shot, but sometimes it was just too much for one person to bear alone.

The elevator dropped down to the command centre and Jagher stepped out, hands balled into tight fists at her sides and the stoic look that was her command face plastered all over her features.

"We're ready for you Shepard," Garrus said, popping up from nowhere as he was wont to do sometimes. "Whenever _you're _ready."

Jagher inhaled deeply as she turned to face the turian. She nodded sharply once, and then followed her friend to the shuttle bay. Garrus placed his hand lightly on her shoulder as she passed him and Jagher stopped walking, afraid the emotions she was barely containing would break out in the face of friendship. She looked up into Garrus's black eyes and made herself smile.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

So, I went and back and forth a bit with this Moment. Originally, I was going to write a big screaming match, but that didn't work. Then I was going to write an introspective moment, kind of like what you see here. But the first attempt didn't work. So I went back to the screaming match, but that still wasn't working, so I settled with this Moment that you just finished reading.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment Of Reparations.**


	25. A Moment of Reparations

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment of Reparations.

* * *

How the hell was someone supposed to respond to an e-mail like the one Kaidan had sent?

Jagher settled herself in front of her private terminal for about the third time since she had first received the e-mail and stared at the words.

_Shepard,_

I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?

Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don't know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me... maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can't just put that aside.

But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die - on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again. If you're still the woman I remember I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself.

When things settle down a little... maybe... I don't know. Just take care.

-Kaidan

It hurt that he questioned her response to that night before Ilos. That night had meant everything to her as well and she could have been sure that Kaidan had known that—she had told him as much, she was sure she had. She had loved him then and loved him now. Of course, she understood his repulsion to her being with Cerberus. She was repulsed to be working with Cerberus, even though she had grown to like and trust Miranda at least. But that he hadn't believed her when she told him she didn't want to be with Cerberus had hurt as well.

"Kaidan," she breathed as she looked at the screen. Jagher propped her head up on one hand with her elbow on the desk and wondered how the hell to reply to the confusing e-mail.

The part at the end gave her hope. Maybe she should focus on that? Provided she survived the mission to the Collector base, she would love to see him again, to be with him. Jagher was still so in love with Kaidan, but then again, no time had passed for her. The two years he had been fighting to get over her, she'd been unconscious on a table with no idea she was actually alive until just a little while ago.

She raised her hands on the holographic interface of the keyboard and started her reply, with no idea where it was going to go.

_Kaidan, _

_You don't have to apologize for what you said on Horizon. I can imagine what it must have been like for you to see me there after thinking I was dead and trying so hard to move on—I've been getting that a lot lately. And Kaidan, I'm glad to hear that you were trying to move on, I wouldn't have wanted you to dwell. Our relationship meant everything to me, but I never expected to come back. When I was falling… well, I was pretty sure I was done for._

_If this settles your mind at all, I don't trust Cerberus. I am still here with them only because they are giving me the resources to fight the Collectors and stop them from abducting humans. The Council isn't going to give anyone leave to go into the Terminus systems for rumours, so this is the only avenue I see. Plus, they did bring me back to life, but it's Miranda more than Cerberus that I thank for that. She's not as much a dog of Cerberus as I originally thought. I think she may be seeing a different side of the Illusive Man while working with me. But I'm being careful, and I've got Garrus and Tali here, not to mention Joker keeping an eye on everything. _

_I have every intention of coming back from this mission, but you know how things like this go. We didn't really expect to survive fighting Saren and Soverign, but we did, and I have a great team. I have done everything to ensure I have the best chance of coming back. I want to come back and I want to see you when I get back, Kaidan. I miss you._

_I will send an e-mail when I get back, just to let you know I survived._

_-Jagher._

As she finished typing the reply, she paused for a moment. It had all come easier than she had expected, and the only time she had paused was when she had been about to type "I love you." She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but that wasn't something to break out after two year apart and after what had happened on Horizon. Maybe after… She shook her head and sat back in her chair.

She reread the e-mail several times before sending it off and then turned off the terminal and headed over to her bed, dropping onto it heavily when she got there.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

That's the actual text from the e-mail, copy and pasted from the Mass Effect Wiki.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment of Contemplations.**


	26. A Moment of Contemplation

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment of Contemplation.

* * *

The Omega 4 Relay was approaching fast and the closer the _Normandy _got, the more nervous the crew became.

Everyone had been tense since Jagher had declared preparations were over and it was time to head to the final mission and everyone was exhibiting their tension in their own way. Jack was passing around the lower decks on engineering, muttering to herself about things no one cared to listen too intently to. Tali and the other engineers were tinkering away, making sure everything was running smoothly, while Miranda was doing much the same but on the bureaucratic side of things. Thane, Samara, Kasumi and the majority of the Cerberus crew members were sitting in their living spaces in silence, contemplating everything that they could be leaving behind, that they might never see again. Thane was writing a letter to his son. Garrus, and his now ever-present companion Fayelle, were sitting in the main battery room, playing a card game of some sort and trying to not get too worked up about the situation. Jacob, Mordin and Joker, with the help of EDI, were running through the final checks in the long list to give the _Normandy _the best chance of surviving the final run towards the Collector base.

Jagher Shepard, on the other hand, had locked herself in her cabin, turned off all communications and sat down at her desk, the picture she kept of Kaidan held in front of her face so she could stare at it and wish the man was there instead of his picture. She hadn't heard back from Kaidan since she'd sent the e-mail several days ago, but she hadn't really expected to; it would have been nice, but she had known how unlikely it was that she would get a response.

She ran the fingers of one hand lightly over the picture, tracing the lines of his cheek and closed her eyes, remembering another night that had come before a potential suicide mission, a night they had spent together, wrapped in each other in every way possible. They had taken comfort in each other and let their feelings come to the forefront when they had kept them at bay because of the rules and regulations. Jagher thought of the way she felt in those hours before landing on Ilos, thought of how complete and whole she had felt in Kaidan's arms.

Shepard gently placed the photo back in its normal position on her desk before getting to her feet and walking slowly around her quarters. She had unbound her dark brown hair and taken off her boots; she was as comfortable as she dared get with the Omega 4 Relay drawing closer, when she might have to run into action at a moment's notice. What she really wanted to do however, was go to sleep. Jagher walked to the fish tank and watched the little blue fish dart around in their tiny schools and the larger black and orange fish gracefully swim from one end of the tank to the other. Watching the fish normally calmed her, but at that moment, she couldn't focus on the small creatures.

She padded softly over to her bed and dropped face-first onto the soft comforter.

If there was one thing she liked about working for Cerberus, it was the extra comfort around the ship. Not that she would admit that to anyone.

Jagher closed her eyes and pressed her face into the pillow, knowing that she may never have an opportunity to rest like this again. She brought her knees almost up to her chest and tried to relax.

Just before she could fall into a deep slumber however, the intercom buzzed.

"_Commander, we're ten minutes out from the relay," _Joker informed her, his voice mild in comparison to his normal sarcasm, but then, he had been preparing for the end as well. _"Thought you might want to come up to the bridge and oversee the approach." _

"Thanks Joker," she mumbled. "I'll be up in a minute."

"_Okay Shepard." _

With a heavy sigh, Jagher pushed herself out of bed and looked at her armour, hanging in its cabinet. The blue, black and grey armour was showing signs of wear, scuffs in the colours and dents from where bullets had broken through her kinetic barriers. _Oh well, _she thought as she began to pull off her clothes and reached for the form-fitting under armour. _If I survive, I'll get new armour made and if I don't, it won't matter either way. Maybe another geth can use pieces of this set to patch itself up, _she thought with a laugh, thinking of Legion down in the AI Core, going through files, and his N7 shoulder plate that he had taken from the wreckage of Shepard's body.

When she was dressed and ready, she tucked her helmet under one arm, checked that her guns were secure and made for the bridge, the face she used when she was in Commander and Spectre mode firmly in place.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

Nothing to say. Enjoy!

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment of Survival.**


	27. A Moment of Survival

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment of Survival.

* * *

After all was said and done—when stock of injuries and damage had been taken, when the repairs had begun, when reports had been sent to the Alliance—Jagher made her way to her quarters. She didn't make it any farther than the door before she collapsed and the shaking started. She had held it together for so long and now, _finally, _she could just fall apart. The Collectors had been stopped and yes, there were still some things to attend to—Liara had sent a message about The Shadow Broker and Admiral Hackett wanted Shepard's help in rescuing some doctor out in Batarian space or something—but right then, she could just let go.

She started laughing then. Jagher stretched out on the floor in front of the door and laughed. The final battle against the Reapers was still coming but _peace _for the moment… She had begun to think she would never see peace again, not even for a few minutes.

When the tears of laughter started, Jagher got to her feet. She wiped her eyes and sat down at her desk, immediately pulling off her boots and drawing her knees up to her chest. The chair wasn't big enough to allow the position to be comfortable, but it served. Jagher turned on her private terminal and checked her messages. There were none, which was slightly surprising only because she had been expecting a rant from the Illusive Man; maybe he had finally got the message. Unlikely, but possible. She was sure something would show up eventually. One didn't disobey the head of Cerberus and get away with it. Instead of dwelling on the imminent problem however, Jagher brought up the screen for a new message and put in Kaidan's extranet contact address.

Then she paused.

She didn't know what to say.

Why was it so hard to send a message to Kaidan, even just a note to say that she had made it through the battle with the Collectors?

The sensor at her door beeped, telling her there was someone there. Jagher unfolded herself from the chair and opened the door, admitting her sister. Fayelle strode confidently into the room and settled herself on the desk while Jagher reassumed her position in front of the terminal.

"How are you doing?" Fayelle asked.

"I'm fine." Jagher smiled up at her sister because it was the truth and also because Fayelle's stay on the _Normandy _marked the longest time the sister had been together where they had not constantly fought. "Why did you come along Faye?"

The younger Shepard shrugged. "I wasn't about to let you go off and die again. Mom may not make an effort to keep in contact with us anymore, but that doesn't mean we should abandon each other. You knew this was a suicide mission, everyone involved did. I thought you might like having someone familiar around… This was before I realized you had some of your old crew."

Jagher's smile turned warm. "I didn't say I wasn't glad you were here, but what about your position in the Fifth Fleet?"

"Admiral Hackett gave me as much leave as I needed after you died and then they assigned me to a desk job. I had just got reassigned to active duty when we got word that you were alive again and I just… kind of lost it. So they took me off active duty and put me back on desk duty. Councillor Anderson kind of adopted me as his assistant or liaison with the fleets and then he let me go after you. I think he wanted someone he knew would care to keep an eye on you. He wants you back in the Alliance."

It didn't surprise Shepard to hear that, but it made her feel warm and wanted again. "Thanks Faye."

"Hey, just be glad we survived. Because if we hadn't survived, I would have found a way to kill you a third time." The sisters laughed. As the moment passed, Fayelle turned her eyes to the terminal behind Jagher. "Sending a message to your lover-boy there?"

"Trying to. Not really sure what to say."

"How about 'Hey. Guess what? We survived. Let's get a drink.'"

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

Ogga-booga.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment of Pure Longing and of Being Denied.**


	28. A Moment of Longing

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment of Pure Longing.

* * *

Liara as the infamous Shadow Broker.

Jagher wasn't sure she was ever going to get used to that. For so long, the Shadow Broker had just been this anonymous and questionable figure who lurked on the edges of society and kept an ear to the ground about all things and now, now the Shadow Broker was a resource Shepard had direct access to. A very powerful resource.

Currently, the commander was walking around the massive ship that served as the Shadow Broker's base, observing all that was going on and wondering how one person could process so much information. She knew there was a drone who served Liara and an army of computers and machines to help her keep everything organized, but it still seemed such a daunting task, something Shepard was sure she wouldn't be able to handle. She wished Liara luck though. The Shadow Broker's world was a dangerous place.

Jagher reached the central area of the ship, where her and Liara had killed the previous Shadow Broker—a yahg, one of the most frightening aliens Shepard had encountered—and proceeded in a straight line to the stairs at the back of the room, paying no mind to Liara as she moved. The commander had been told there was a video surveillance room there, with eyes on all the major hubs in the galaxy. Now, Shepard wasn't a gossip, a snoop or anything of the sort, but even she couldn't deny her curiosity; this had to be the main reason the Shadow Broker knew who was where and what they were doing to or with who for how many credits. Just the thought brought a small grin to Jagher's face.

The video room turned out to be a raised platform with an array of screen arcing around one side of the circular dais. Jagher raised her hand in front of the holographic interface and the screen in front of her flickered to life, showing the familiar expanse of the Citadel.

"_David Anderson, Citadel," _a computerized voice said.

Jagher watched her friend and mentor pace around his office, hands clasped behind his back and a look of deep thought and concentration on his face. In the background, Jagher could see a handheld computer displaying data about her final battle again the Collectors; data she had sent him, hoping it would somehow be helpful. Anderson looked like he was trying to find a way to make it just that.

Just as Jagher was about to switch to the next video however, Anderson's pacing stopped. He turned towards the door and nodded to whoever was standing there.

"_Alenko." _

So totally unexpected was the development that Jagher gasped and took an involuntary step towards the monitor. She hadn't been expecting to see Kaidan. Not yet.

"_Counsellor," _came Kaidan's voice, just before he stepped into the frame of the camera.

"_Have you heard?"_

Kaidan shifted from side to side a bit and crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn't wearing his armour, so he was either on leave or between missions. Jagher was willing to bet it was the latter. Regardless, something in the way he was standing wasn't right. Something was bothering him. Jagher leaned a little closer to the screen, as if that could make it easier to hear what was being said.

"_If you're referring to Shepard's success, then yes, I have. She... sent an e-mail saying she had survived." _As he spoke, Kaidan ran one hand over his hair and Jagher saw his shoulders tense. _"Have you talked to her?" _

As Anderson shook his head, Jagher felt a pang of regret. She hadn't sent him anything other than the message with the data. He was her friend, her mentor, she should have given him more. The feeling was cut short when Kaidan spoke again.

"_Oh. I was hoping you would know if she was coming back." _

Jagher had missed Kaidan terribly, worse since Horizon, but she had had to push that to the background. Apparently, it had stayed there until that moment, because as he spoke a twisting feeling took over Jagher's insides and she wanted nothing more than to go to him. She reached out to touch his image on the screen, but her fingers passed right through the light of the holographic interface.

* * *

**Author's Note.**

* * *

This would have been awesome had it happened.

* * *

**Next Moment: A Moment Before a New Storm.**


	29. A Moment Before a New Storm

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

* * *

**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment Before a New Storm.

* * *

"I did the right thing, Garrus, I know I did, but why…"

"Why do you feel so guilty?"

Jagher looked across the small room at her turian friend and nodded. She was seated on the crates in the corner, leaning back, ankles crossed in front of her and arms crossed under her breasts. Fayelle was leaning on the wall beside Garrus and had been listening to the exchange without so much as a comment—a rare feat for the young woman. They were serving as a sounding board for Jagher, who had just returned from the rescue mission gone horribly wrong; a mission where she had ended up destroying an entire batarian colony and blowing up a mass relay. Now she was facing a trial upon the ship's return to Earth to determine whether or not she should be punished for her actions against the batarian race, even if those actions had delayed the coming of the Reapers, the threat she had been warning the galaxy about since the beginning.

"You're a good person, Jag," Fayelle said, speaking for the first time. "Even though you saved millions, deciding to kill all those batarians can't have been easy. No one in their right mind would have found that easy."

"I didn't even hesitate."

"Nor should you have," Garrus said. "You bought the galaxy more time. Now all we have to do is get through the trial and then find a way to stop the Reapers and no one will remember your decision to blow up the mass relay."

Jagher offered up a watery smile. She knew the turian was trying to make her feel better, but it wasn't working; those weren't the words she wanted to hear, but there was nothing to be done about that. Garrus meant well, as did Fayelle, but her sister had never been good at giving comfort and her words had the same hollow ring that Garrus' did. After smiling and nodding at their continued attempts for a moment longer, Jagher excused herself and left the pair—who had become fast friends in the face of tragedy and danger—alone once more as she headed for the command deck.

They had to get to Earth after all, for her trial. But she had no intention of hurrying.

The elevator doors opened and Jagher walked up to the platform above the Galaxy Map, blinking as she always did as it flickered to life. She keyed in the coordinates for Earth and watched as the blue and green ball appeared to spin in front of her. It wasn't home to Jagher; it never had been. She had been born in space and lived their her whole life, moving around with her military parents, but there was still something tugging at her insides as she looked at the home planet of humanity. Part of her was excited to finally see it with her own eyes, but the larger part was scared what was going to happen to her once she got there.

She signalled Joker and EDI to head for Earth, but she also hit the button for the intercom. "Don't move too quickly, Joker. I'm not interested in getting there a.s.a.p."

"_I hear that, Commander. One scenic route, coming up."_

"Thank you. I'll be in my quarters if anyone needs to get a hold of me," she said to Joker and to her yeoman at once.

When she had received confirmation from both parties, Jagher rode the elevator up to her quarters where she kicked off her boots and stretched out on her bed, mind wandering to Earth and what possibly awaited her there. The more she considered the possibilities of the trial, the harder the knot of guilt in her stomach grew, until she felt as if she would be sick and she could taste bile burning in the back of her throat.

More than for her own safety, she was worried that if the batarians got the justice they wanted, that the Reaper threat would not get the attention it needed and the galaxy would be wiped out, that those millions of lives she had killed batarians to save would be forfeit. Jagher rolled onto her side and pressed her face into her pillow, sighing heavily and with an exaggerated noise.

A knock on her door startled Jagher out of her moping.

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**Author's Note.**

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This Moment and the next one are connected. Only ones to be directly connected so far.

Maybe I'll do that more in the Moments from ME3…

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**Next Moment: A Moment Where Family Matters.**


	30. A Moment Where Family Matters

I do not own **Mass Effect** or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

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**Mass Effect 2: Moments.  
**A Moment Where Family Matters.

* * *

When Jagher opened the door, she found her sister standing there, a weak smile on her face.

"Can I help you?" she asked as she let Fayelle into her quarters.

The younger of the Shepard sisters walked over to the couch and settled herself in the corner seat before she did or said anything else. Her expression had turned serious and her eyes were locked on the Prothean artifact that floated a couple inches above the surface of the coffee table. Jagher sat down on the couch and crossed one leg over the other, eyes on her sister as she waited for Fayelle to speak. Something was obviously bothering her great deal, but Jagher didn't push. Pushing would bring out the bitchy attitude that had helped Fayelle gain her reputation as a ruthless person and Jagher didn't like dealing with that Fayelle.

Fayelle slipped her feet out of her boots and pulled her knees up to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around them. She rested her chin on her knees and fixed her eyes on Jagher, fear working its way onto her face.

"I'm coming with you," she said eventually.

"What? Faye, you can't!"

"Why?" she asked, suddenly defensive. She dropped her feet to the floor and leaned forward slightly. "I came on this suicide mission with you! I'm not letting you go off on your own into another one for the same reasons I didn't let you go by yourself into this one! You're going to fight the Reapers, and I'm going to help in whatever way I can!"

Jagher sighed and settled back into the couch, craning her head back until it was resting against the wall. "Fayelle… I know you don't want to let me run off into the cosmos on my own, but having you on board the _Normandy_…" Jagher stopped herself and really thought about what that would be like. Since her sister had come on board, Jagher had to admit that she had felt more at ease, calmer than she had since she had woken up on that table on the Cerberus station, even calmer than when she had when Garrus had reappeared. Having her younger sister on board and helped keep her grounded. What would happen when she was gone? Jagher sighed again and turned her bright green eyes to Fayelle. "Faye…"

"I can't believe—"

"Faye," Jagher snapped. "I am glad you came on board and were here for the fight against the Collectors, even if you weren't directly involved, but this is going to be a bigger, badder fight—"

"All the more reason you need extra people hanging around."

"Yes, but are you sure you want to risk your life for this? You don't have to. You can go back to the Citadel, you can go wherever and—"

"And do what? Sit around wondering if you're alive or dead? If you've stopped the Reapers or not?" Fayelle's voice was starting to betray her frustration. "I'm not going to sit on the sidelines, Jag! I've already told you this!"

"I'm not trying to change your mind; I know that's a useless fight. I'm just trying to make sure you know what you're getting into. I signed up for this saving the world gig—as much as I sometimes wish I hadn't—but you didn't. You don't have to put your life on the line."

"You don't have to either, Jag, but you want to. And I want to help you. I'm officially joining your team or whatever you call yourselves."

"What?"

"You heard me."

Jagher dropped her head back against the wall and groaned.

"I'll do whatever you need me to do around the ship—I don't have to fight. I do have other skills, you know."

"I know that."

"You're not getting me off this ship, Jagher."

Finally giving up, the older Shepard huffed and then nodded. "Fine. You can hang around." She accepted the rare embrace Fayelle offered, holding her sister close. "I suppose it'll be good to have someone who knows how to keep me in line around."

When they parted, Fayelle was smirking broadly. "Yeah, I can do that, but I think you'd rather have your lover boy do that for you."

Jagher blushed, but didn't have anything to say to the jibe because, hey, it was true.

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**Author's Note.**

* * *

Some interesting stuff about the Moment you just read, or my life, or maybe something profound.

I'm tired.

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**Next Moment: There isn't one… FOR NOW.**


End file.
